Several patterns now play themselves out in my life.
Each one is a link to some aspect of my childhood that either scars me or is a source of salvation.
I’ve described my life-long parade of narcissistic Mother replacements.
I’ve never seen the pattern more clearly nor fully come to terms with the fact that in each case, I trusted these women with my life only to have that trust betrayed.
If insanity is repeating the same mistake with the hope of a different outcome, than I have been completely insane since childhood.
But this pattern of seeking out and hooking up with narcissistic women isn’t the only one.
There are other patterns based on the community in which I was raised: the racism, the antisemitism, the homophobia and the static class system as it exists for those at the very bottom.
These patterns of repetition became especially pronounced when…
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