A Moment of Chronic Pain

Art by Rob Goldstein

The Pain Gods

I have a gizmonicexercise bikethat I found on the sidewalk last year.

I say ‘gizmonic’ because it has a computer that monitors heart rate and caloric output.

It also has games.

My guess is that the previous owner tossed this bike because he or she thought it was broken.

I brought it home and slipped some batteries into it and nothing.

It looked like the computer was broken.

But the fix was simple.

I noticed that the springs that held the batteries in place were stiff.

They weren’t making contact with the batteries.

I stretched them and Bingo!

A fancy over-priced exercise bike for the time it took me to stretch some springs.

My favorite game is the  ‘Calorie Destroyer.

The faster I pedal the more ammo and mobility my gun has.

Thursday of last week I raised the seat for better leg…

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