I started Blog Looking for the Light on 2-22-2014, exactly 22 years after my father’s suicide. Every year on the date of his death my emotions/logic are so conflicted. I stopped drinking years ago but that day every year I get drunk, my coping mechanism. I thought my dad was cool as a child and we had lots of fun. My father had no clue how to parent, it was scream or give in. My brother and I where seeing my father every two weeks. My father had a girlfriend and liked to party so around 8:00 p.m. on Saturday nights he would head out. We were left with our step mother and step brother. It was boring for me. I remember the weekend well. I got dressed, put on my stepmother’s make up and said I’m going with you. He said no at first but it was the well ask…

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