(or, My Decision to Explore TMS)

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It’s simple really.

You know?

Why my brain doesn’t light up.

From the information I’ve read and the images I’ve seen, the depressed brain doesn’t do much “lighting”. And I’ve suffered with it since middle school.

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I realized something wasn’t right and was making me extremely “sad” when I had a razor blade on my desk, alongside a note to my parents. A note saying that I was sorry for being such a failure.

My dad came in.

He probably saved my life.

I don’t know if he ever told my mom, but mom, he’s a hero.


Years later at 42 years old, 40 lbs overweight, and all the life sucked out of me, I’m giving treatment another chance.

Not in the form of body-bloating prescriptions though. I seem to be immune to them anyways. Or maybe that’s because they’re working?

You know. We sometimes quit when they’re working. We feel we’re alright. We feel like we’re cured. But it’s the meds kids. Don’t you dare stop them cold turkey like I once did.

No, this is different.

I’ve made the decision to go to a neurology center to have a consultation on Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Therapy. If you haven’t read about it, it seems like a bright light at the end of my dark tunnel.

And I’m excited. Are you kidding?!?! A chance to get my life back?? Sounds good by me.

The only slight concern I have is about short term memory loss but that’s about it.

This is all probably just a laughing carrot being dangled in front of my face.

But a carrot nonetheless.

I’ll keep you informed of how this new path goes.

Do you have experiences with TMS? I’d sure love to get your thoughts on this.