I Hate Having a Mental Illness.

Art by Rob Goldstein

I hate having a mental illness.

I hate the stifling everyday management
of it.

The realization that everything I want is mine
but for this stone thrown in my path by fate
or my Mother or that inexplicable genetic
variable that
has nothing to do with either.

I hate having a mental illness.

I hate the fear and shame.

Of knowing that friends leave because of
a quirk that causes me to say things
too personal or too cutting.

Of the cognitive dissonance of an adult body
and a childโ€™s spirit that
doesnโ€™t understand
the limits of time.

Of the shrinks, the bewilderment and
the inability to
know the difference between
ignorance
and malice.

I hate having a mental illness.

I hate it with the passion of this
prayer
that tomorrow I will awaken
and be healed.

RG 2015

mhwgmember2015Blog for Mental Health 2015

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2 comments

  1. Robert
    I have no idea how you feel. What I do know is your honestly about your DID has helped more than you will every know. It must be torture on days when you’re transitioning and then back again. No one can write about your mental illness like you. You have thousands of followers because you help in someway. Maybe a laugh, a silly story or the reality of your life. People who leave when they don’t understand the behavior were not for you in the first place. People who care and love you, stick by no many how hairy it gets.
    Hugs
    M

    Liked by 1 person

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