outcomes comes my paranoia 

Viewing any help at present comes paranoia for me ..it’s the same old issues trusting equals neglect fighting and absolutely been scared they will desert me to before I do them.

My weekend started good hooray I got to enjoy some what an outing with my husband at a coffee garden in Glenbrook, as afternoon followed mental rang checking on me I was ok by early evening I was so ground up inside I had forgotten how to cook a chicken and hubby had taken over that made me feel inadequate and angry instead I kept saying I’ll be ok but it built up I felt like an volcano fucked off I simply can’t get hold of stupid emotions fucking idiot you are..Saturday night was rough on off trying to sleep shouting looking for mom in a dream up down to the lounge when morning rose I was someone else tearful disconnected and a whole lot of noise going on in my head I ate briefly and stumbled back To bed battling to answer why I felt miserable to my family then came voices like a shopping mall going from early morning arivers to afternoon lunch may ham I cried and cried the entire day was gloom mental health rang and some one else said this is rediculous she was gonna action more help lol

Today a phychologist has rang for 3x free dbt sessions it takes me long to settle this felt useless I was wasting her time but she was so different to becs soft and asked if I would let her try and let it be her decision if I was wasting her time..mmm still not sure but tomorrow at 9 she will meet me..then David the phychiatrist rang he wants to see me at 11 urgent appointment 

With all this today I’m exhausted scared and a little disconnected to take this on…I wanna ask becs to come with to David but I’m scared too


Go ahead! You know you want to say it :-)

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