Viewing any help at present comes paranoia for me ..it’s the same old issues trusting equals neglect fighting and absolutely been scared they will desert me to before I do them.

My weekend started good hooray I got to enjoy some what an outing with my husband at a coffee garden in Glenbrook, as afternoon followed mental rang checking on me I was ok by early evening I was so ground up inside I had forgotten how to cook a chicken and hubby had taken over that made me feel inadequate and angry instead I kept saying I’ll be ok but it built up I felt like an volcano fucked off I simply can’t get hold of stupid emotions fucking idiot you are..Saturday night was rough on off trying to sleep shouting looking for mom in a dream up down to the lounge when morning rose I was someone else tearful disconnected and a whole lot of noise going on in my head I ate briefly and stumbled back To bed battling to answer why I felt miserable to my family then came voices like a shopping mall going from early morning arivers to afternoon lunch may ham I cried and cried the entire day was gloom mental health rang and some one else said this is rediculous she was gonna action more help lol

Today a phychologist has rang for 3x free dbt sessions it takes me long to settle this felt useless I was wasting her time but she was so different to becs soft and asked if I would let her try and let it be her decision if I was wasting her time..mmm still not sure but tomorrow at 9 she will meet me..then David the phychiatrist rang he wants to see me at 11 urgent appointment 

With all this today I’m exhausted scared and a little disconnected to take this on…I wanna ask becs to come with to David but I’m scared too

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