Photo Credit: Casey Alexander
As an adoptive parent, here’s my main goal:
Try not to screw it up.
When the kids first arrived, I read every parenting or adoption book I could find.
Intuitive and logical strategies sparked implosion.
Counting (“be in your seat by the time I say three…”) invited blank stares.
Time-out sent them into screaming fits. For hours.
Hubby and I tried it all: positive rewards, negative consequences, ignoring, praising, celebrating, whispering, raised voices…if a book or counselor suggested an idea, we attempted it.
The problem with using conventional child-rearing tactics in an adoptive or foster situation:
when children lose family, not much else matters.
Children of loss, trauma and neglect, our kids needed more than we—or the books—could provide.
I wanted to know that we weren’t alone. That I wasn’t crazy. That maybe someday we’d see positive results.
Three years after the kids…
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