Strain on a marriage well battling mental health 

Though I feel the need to hide our problems it’s true we battling once again…i think I truly need to remember to take care of me before been able to take care of someone else .

I don’t think we amuine to relationship issues but yes it makes it worse when you battle mental health issues on top of it:'(..just last month we were married 19 years but been together 24 in total ,so it’s sad when I feel at present sadly no love yet resentment seems to take the place at the best of times. Just recently this weekend I was knocked down by this feeling well we were at a 21st birthday party I stood naturally with my arm around my husband chair well he sat and chatted I stood by the fire feeling this feeling so obviously there was no love yet a natural reaction to stand’s appeared else places this feeling and it’s scary as I never imagined I’d loose love for my sole mate .But even as lately he causes an argument about everything we say never allowing us to voice our opinion which sadly has caused more intense feelings to rather ignore him and not share our thoughts. (I hate this feeling ) Well its true my thoughts are little eratatic it’s hard to be put down more well I haven’t been sleeping well and told I’m all over the place at night ,mental illness believe me isn’t fun it’s F hard ..”I’m trying hard and many times failing and falling but together somehow I can’t give up even in the pain.

Well I feel this, I’m not ready to jump to divorce but I’m gonna start looking after me growing me and only then can I be there for him as his very unsettled at present naturally we all unsettled and on edge too.


One comment

  1. Lis
    I can understand the distant feelings, I don’t know if time it happens in all marriages. It happened in my second marriage, I loved him but was not in love with him. It was a big difference. That’s not the only reason we divorced. He said I was faking, didn’t have mental illness yet wouldn’t go to doctor with me. In your case, it sounds like you held everything in, including your mental illness. You hid it from yourself, it took you some time to look in eye and say yes, I do have mental illness and need help. Then you struggled with help, we all go thru a process similar when trying to accept something so difficult to control. I will say we don’t communicate as I think is healthy for a couple, we’re very different, I’m different people everyday, so we go to our corners. Very unhealthy. If your communication wasn’t strong before your symptoms took over, he probably very confused. He probably doesn’t have a grip on what you are truly going thru. When we are in hell, it’s damn hard to tell someone how it feels, what we feel and say it like a loving wife when we’re loosing our F mind.
    The one step I did early in our marriage is say…you’re going to the doctor with me, you can here doctor yourself, ask him any questions, ask him am I that sick. It made a huge difference, it’s not that he didn’t believe me, the picture drawn in his head was different than the one I was drawing. He goes on regular basis, he knows when to call the doctor so I don’t kill myself. The withdraw was a new one…..we had to adjust….he had never seen me go thru 100% withdraw, he’s seen maybe a two day withdraw. Very different. Maybe invite him to go see your therapist, together or alone, maybe that is a softer way of hearing the truth. Therapist in America have to keep everything you say 100% confidential, so no matter what is asked about me, she is to say nothing. It may be different where you are. I know you’re in hell, you do sound better, it’s the first time you’ve shared a situation.
    You are strong enough, you are not a quitter, you can overcome the pain and will make it over the hump. When you’ll be even stronger for the next time. There is always a next time. Take what you can, keep in back of mind and when out of hell, ask yourself how did hell prepare for tomorrow, and the next……….You can do it.
    Love M

    Liked by 1 person

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