Though I feel the need to hide our problems it’s true we battling once again…i think I truly need to remember to take care of me before been able to take care of someone else .

I don’t think we amuine to relationship issues but yes it makes it worse when you battle mental health issues on top of it:'(..just last month we were married 19 years but been together 24 in total ,so it’s sad when I feel at present sadly no love yet resentment seems to take the place at the best of times. Just recently this weekend I was knocked down by this feeling well we were at a 21st birthday party I stood naturally with my arm around my husband chair well he sat and chatted I stood by the fire feeling this feeling so obviously there was no love yet a natural reaction to stand’s appeared else places this feeling and it’s scary as I never imagined I’d loose love for my sole mate .But even as lately he causes an argument about everything we say never allowing us to voice our opinion which sadly has caused more intense feelings to rather ignore him and not share our thoughts. (I hate this feeling ) Well its true my thoughts are little eratatic it’s hard to be put down more well I haven’t been sleeping well and told I’m all over the place at night ,mental illness believe me isn’t fun it’s F hard ..”I’m trying hard and many times failing and falling but together somehow I can’t give up even in the pain.

Well I feel this, I’m not ready to jump to divorce but I’m gonna start looking after me growing me and only then can I be there for him as his very unsettled at present naturally we all unsettled and on edge too.