Today was totally different I was faced with my mad moments of avoiding thing’s crawling on me and noises ..I had to recount my my days and drama leading there up ,in the conversation he mentioned how much I care for my boys and protecting them I felt the pain and tears rolled how true it felt ..

In the conversation we touched on the trauma of nik and my family high jacking and my abuse and how deep the scars go I burst out crying thinking fuck this ..

Im emotional and fragile Hannes has chosen to keep an close eye I’m seeing him Tuesday @1 and he’ll call daily but I still battle to feel a sense of fuck knows what???

My old key worker has voiced last night opting out or maybe I’m feeling it that way she was so close to me now choosing to back off feels like more neglect of been abandon ..processing inturpretations are hard and over exaggerated !