the last couple of weeks iv been introduced to emdr in sessions. .I had brief interactions with it in palmy but this is the real beginning! 

I’m ever amazed still how my brain reacts to my past trauma I’d like to dream I’m healed. .so how it works you watch the light with headphones on and two gadgets in either hand that vibrates and with out fail concentration is always hard brutally I’m hit with flash backs, of which at that moment the lights stop and you say what the flash back is and weather a smell or feeling and then let it go and continue on watching listening and feeling to the noise and lights…

In short it’s shit I’m battling with disociation and server nausea, and some anger outbursts  …it’s hard as always talking about flashbacks they make me angry,vulnerable alot!!and as always I wonder why I’m going through with this, but hell this year is mine for healing  I will try.