The weekend has difficult you wonder after all this time I’d have this down pat but no….my family has been the brand of my other side my other me and as I was reminded usually it’s high anxiety then me pushing to avoid feeling and then comes voices and the other me!

I text my therapist today she rang back I was busy my phone said there’s a voice mail message instead she had forgotten to put the phone down and was talking to her colleague mentioning she doesn’t have kids so February they’ll go on leave to south island for nearly a month. .Fuck I feel as though she’s leaving and panic takes over It’s horrible. She rang early evening now asking how it feels if she doesn’t reply to my texts but phones a few days later instantly I say why would I care that’s Ok ..BUT IT’S NOT OK WOMEN! 

I guess this is were I breathe I will survive these are just  feelings of my unknown me that erupt at times..I still have a me somewhere inside!