Its the beginning of the long weekend here in nz  and not only has my therapist gone on holiday since Wednesday but so has my husband decided it will be great break for son and father before college starts here…and however I was OK by wednesday about jeanique going actually my abandonment feeling had subsided greatly …However today now as I try distract I wanna cry  I’m alone I’m pressured at work  and I want my boys home now ,my older boy arrives Monday can’t wait to see him just did his room up as a room and study.

 Its now nearly 9 pm I’m crying and wonder how I will get through till Monday night…

Jeanique spoke about breaking my traumas up so we could easily deal with each one ,number one is nik our son and his traumatic health and effects on us still then the hijacking and my anxiety and the rest to follow I’m excited to start differently and begin EMDR I hope it moves fast the healing but jeanique doesn’t want an expectation but to rather take it in my stride with ups and downs ,some will be harder memories than others ….I can feel it tonight the sensation bodily!