i’m starting to get flack from my siblings over my not attending my eldest sister’s memorial next month. i don’t know why anyone is surprised – i haven’t communicated with any of them since the sperm-donor’s funeral.
she was perpetrator numero uno. the one that so shattered my defences and my self image that i was easy prey for all that followed.
there is a post ‘dedicated’ to her here: a sister’s love
i refuse to feel guilty. i refuse to be manipulated yet once more for her sake, much less by any of them. it was not MY doing. i was innocent then, i am innocent now.
so why do i have this nagging fear i will drive out there in four weeks?