There are so many unknowns when leaving an abusive spouse…one of those unknowns is the effect everything has on the kids. Both of my younger kids entered therapy upon the initial separation of their dad and I, four years ago. My initial thought was to help them transition- maybe a year. What ended up happening was continuing emotional and psychological abuse by their dad. I watched the kids spiral downward to the point that one was diagnosed with PTSD complex.
We dealt with everything as best we could, and then the contact was put to a halt. That was in November of 2016. The kids went four months with no contact, and then supervised contact for the next couple months.
What I witnessed during the time of no contact, was like a transformational miracle. Brother started making friends and building relationships. Little AoA started talking more and hiding less.
Brother went on an Honors trip with students and adults from his school. He texted me during the day, telling me about some of the fun things he was doing. He bought a “squid hat”. He spends a lot of time investigating theories and making connections to things he learns. He plays live games with his friends, and facetimes with them. I can’t imagine having any of this as an adolescent! It is a different world.
There is still a lot of healing to do, and we will hang on and get through every bit of it. The Army of Angels is there!