King Solomon

This story of King Solomon reminds me of divorce and family court.  When parents continue to fight over the children, it does nothing but hurt the children…as “cutting the child in half”.  

Putting a child on the bench of a judge is a sad place to be.  

Avoid this for the sake of your children.  If you have a parenting plan, follow it.  If you agreed to do something, like therapy, do it.  Be reasonable and realistic about your child’s changing needs as they grow.  Do not speak badly of the other parent when speaking with the children , no matter how you feel about him or her.  Do not force your children to “choose sides”, or engage in bashing the other parent.  If children have their own concerns about the other parent, just listen.  Unless they are revealing blatant abuse, they really just need you to help them process the world with them.  

If your ex needs to converse about the needs or concerns about the children, share that concern…or help ease that concern.  Blaming and threatening will not help your children. 

If only we had the wisdom of King Solomon in court.  Just as King Solomon saw clearly, which mother truly had the best interest and love for the child, judges would see through the lies of a parent who views the children as “property”, and parenting as a contest with a winner and a loser (black and white thinking/all or nothing mentality). 

I know of parents who have released their tie as their children’s primary caregiver, just to avoid putting the children in the middle of  what they perceive would be an unnecessary battle.  

Just to be clear, I am not talking about situations where there is blatant abuse or other factors involved that affect the well-being of the children.  If your children are being harmed, you need to protect them.  I wonder how the King Solomon story might be different if the biological mother knew that the lying woman was a murderer, or abused other children……what do you think?

~AoA
1 Kings 3:16-28New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Solomon Wisely Judges

16 Then two women who were harlots came to the king and stood before him. 17 The one woman said, “Oh, my lord, [a]this woman and I live in the same house; and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house. 18 It happened on the third day after I gave birth, that this woman also gave birth to a child, and we were together. There was no stranger with us in the house, only the two of us in the house. 19 This woman’s son died in the night, because she lay on it. 20 So she arose in the middle of the night and took my son from beside me while your maidservant slept, and laid him in her bosom, and laid her dead son in my bosom. 21 When I rose in the morning to nurse my son, behold, he was dead; but when I looked at him carefully in the morning, behold, he was not my son, whom I had borne.” 22 Then the other woman said, “No! For the living one is my son, and the dead one is your son.” But [b]the first woman said, “No! For the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son.” Thus they spoke before the king.
23 Then the king said, “[c]The one says, ‘This is my son who is living, and your son is the dead one’; and [d]the other says, ‘No! For your son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.’” 24 The king said, “Get me a sword.” So they brought a sword before the king. 25 The king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.” 26 Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for [e]she was deeply stirred over her son and said, “Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him.” But the other said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him!” 27 Then the king said, “Give [f]the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother.” 28 When all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had [g]handed down, they feared the king, for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to [h]administer justice.

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3 comments

  1. Hi friend
    Your post is the perfect example of unconditional love. I can’t help but think of my grandparents, they could see the effects of abuse and neglect from a distance but I never said anything nor did they did or accuse. My granny spent extra time with me by giving me a long bath, washing my hair, scrubbing a the dirty feet, knees and elbows. She would pamper me but little words were spoken. She had the ritual, after dryer off and hair not dripping she would wrap me in the towel, carry me to the bed, put baby powder on me then tell what a cute and funny/beautiful/any compliment I could comprehend at the age.

    She knew I was dead inside from abuse, they never spoke bad about my mother even though I know granny hated my mother for hurting me.
    They made sacrifice after sacrifice until God deemed the time right, my music teacher would not accept how my face was bruised, made me see the counselor and the first thing I did was call granny to tell her everything, she already had seen years of bruises, my mother stabbing my underarms with her finger nails until they bleed.

    My trails continued to worsen for several years, some of the most traumatic years followed. God knew when the time was right and awarded custody to my grandparents. A new story starts for me here, at 12 yrs old and on probation for caring a gun, part of the custody arrangement was I had to go away for a year to reform my thug behavior and learn how to function in a positive environment. My grandparents were forced to believe what my probation officer said would come to pass. They had to relinquish custody to the state of Texas because they did not have the money to pay for a year in boarding school. It must have crushed them yet they knew if there was ever a time to turn me in the right direction I needed more discipline in a strict environment. I am blessed beyond words, the boarding school taught me what positive affirmation felt like, I wanted so much more, it was missing in my bones. A year later, without a single discipline I left a better person.

    My grandparents made the sacrifice on what was best for me know and for the rest of my life. There are never enough words or post to thank them for loving me enough to make decisions best for me.
    Your advice rings deep in my heart and it pains me to think back at the way my mother acted. My brother was impacted terribly, he was a golden child, he had to grow up watching and feeling tremendous guilt. He also saw our mother’s true colors. He has not talked once to me about those years yet I know he is deeply scared.
    Two children with emotional trauma out of selfish behavior and hate towards our father.

    Your post is eye opening and will ring true for many on different levels.

    Thanks. You bring comfort with your post and a bonus to think about my grandparents love.
    I’m so glad you have a short time to write. Your wisdom and delivery will help many stop and soul search.

    Children are precious and most important is their health and happiness.
    Love you
    M

    Liked by 1 person

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