Why Victims of Abuse Don’t Leave Immediately

Don't Lose Hope

When we hear the stories of victims of abuse, we also hear comments like: “Why did she stay? Why on earth did she put up with that level of abuse?”

As if the situation wasn’t really complicated.

So why do victims stay; why don’t they leave immediately? There are many different reasons – but the key ones include:

1. What’s happening doesn’t match their definition of abuse: Think about some statements like the following:

“He was yelling at me, and throwing things around the room. But he never, ever laid a finger on me.”

“He didn’t hit or harm me. He was just restraining me. He was blocking the door so I couldn’t get away.”

“It only happened a few times. I wouldn’t say it was a pattern.”

“I was being unreasonable so it was my fault, too.”

“I didn’t know, that as a wife, I could say…

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