Coming to Know Todd

I decided to write a bit about some unexpected positive energy that I experienced while bearing witness to my brother’s death. Ten years later, still not sure I understand what I know….

Walking the Rails

While dying is what we are trained to fear, it turned out that bearing witness to the passage from living to dead was not as difficult for me as I had expected. Somewhere in the process, I became detached from the anticipated dread, and engaged in a pleasantly unexpected subject.

To understand this development requires a background understanding. It had always been complicated and difficult between us. From my perspective: one of us was oil, one was water. It was that clear. Todd and I had nothing in common, nor any need to be more than vaguely civil with each other. This was our relationship, with a shared set of parents, really our only connection.

It was bigger than just our discord. I do not think that Todd ever developed the skills needed to facilitate healthy interactions with anyone. Nearly every person coming up in conversation was described in a…

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