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Casey

Adoption = my life. I'll give it to you straight. Success, failure, truth.

Ode to Seuss

Limerick

Adoption = Colorblind

Looking thru Casey’s archives I find many great post on adoption, the early days. No doubt, someone is the same position and will benefit form her knowledge. M

Hypervigilant.org

Today I’m not in my usual coffee spot, but this scene is a passable substitute. All available: caffeine, a comfy chair and cool conversation. Good enough.  Today’s crowd is more I’m-yuppie-but-think-I’m-hipster than eclectic, so I settle in, find my bubble and ignore most of my surroundings. Jerky movements catch my eye. I focus on the individual at the counter.

Let me digress one moment. We tell our children “everyone’s alike on the inside; if you cut us open (which, by the way, is not allowed), we all look the same.” Hubby describes my inattention to difference this way: “If a prostitute walked into church and sat alone, Casey would be the first one to go sit with her.” That’s why this next part really bothers me.

As aforementioned, I focus on the gawky guy waiting for his brew. Gawky really isn’t the right word. He obviously thinks he’s “gangsta.” Skinny, almost anorexic; his elbow bones…

View original post 652 more words

Five Reasons NOT to Adopt (and Why You Should Ignore Them)

A great post. Asking yourself if adoption is the right answer for you.
M

Hypervigilant.org

Thirty years ago, families with biological children were unlikely to adopt. In our present culture, considering adoption has become almost trendy, thanks to celebrity endorsement, movies like Annie and educational campaigns like National Adoption Month. Individuals, couples and families with children (both young and grown) are adopting.

In spite of the increase in attention, 102,000 children in the foster care system alone wait for an adoptive family (adoptuskids.org). This number doesn’t account for children awaiting agency placement. So, should you consider adoption? Here’s why you shouldn’t (should).

1. “Adoption is too expensive.”

Cost is a valid concern. Our friends adopted from China; the total was well over $30,000. Agency adoptions in the US can be just as expensive. Shelling out that kind of cash is not an option for most people.

Here’s the good news: simply search “Financial help for Adoption” to find hundreds of available resources online. Private funds, special interest…

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Adoption= Exceptionally Happy

From the 2014 archives of Casey at Hypervigilant.org. Great article and tips for parents adopting. M

Hypervigilant.org

I just read a really cool article by Jeff Haden: 10 Daily Habits of Exceptionally Happy People. http://www.inc.com/ss/jeff-haden/10-daily-habits-exceptionally-happy-people#0

For adoptive families, many of his points will resonate. I borrowed nine. (Used with permission.) 

Granted, there are times the descriptors “Exceptionally Stressed” or “Exceptionally Insane”  more accurately correspond with our circumstances, but being joyful is a decision and a mindset. (Think of the terminally ill patient who ultimately inspires those who come to encourage her.) Life isn’t a breeze, but we can be Exceptionally Happy. Read on:

1.  “I will not interrupt.”

It’s easy to assume that we know what the kid is going to say. (Especially when she uses the same excuse every time…what IS it with ten year olds?) Something to remember, though: interrupting is more than assumption. It’s more than rude. It’s a message. “What you have to say isn’t important.”  For an adopted or foster child, this is confirming something deeper…

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Super Advice from an Adoptive Parent

If you have a question about Adoption, please contact Casey at
http:hypervigilant.org She is a wealth of knowledge and continues to share her experience as the children grow older. She’s a must read for anyone considering Adoption or newly Adoptive parents. M

Hypervigilant.org

If you haven’t checked out Reddit’s Adoption community, it’s time. Here’s an example of the amazing support you’ll find in the adoption sub. This post, written by a parent who’d like to be anonymous, is in response to a heartfelt plea from another adoptive parent. I’m telling you…go: Reddit.com/r/adoption

Dear friend,

As an adoptive parent, I feel for you and appreciate that this is incredibly hard. And hard in ways that are triggering. And hard in ways that are deeply despairing.

We fostered a 9 year old with the intention of adoption and finalized last year (2 years later). He had been through a lot – the adults around him have consistently failed him. Instability, violence, abandonment, inconsistent schooling, serious felony activity.

Our first months were actually very harmonious. As we built trust, it got very intense. Defiant. Screaming. Running out of the house. School refusal.

This is where I…

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The Next Thing

Back in the Saddle

Puled from the archives of Casey at Hypervigilant.org.
Thanks Casey, Have a great weekend. M

Hypervigilant.org

Hey, everyone!

I’ve missed you.

In September, I accepted a part-time job. In October, I agreed to work full time when my supervisor said those two little words I can never resist: process improvement. Almost nothing makes me happier than finding better ways to do…well, pretty much anything.

The downside is a sharp decline in free time and I’ve really missed writing.

Tonight I listened to a goal-setting webinar led by Michael Hyatt. I chuckled a little bit when he talked about his own goals. Maybe one of his goals for the year is to sell a lot of the “5 Days to Your Best Year Ever” program he offers at the end of the webinar.

Sales pitch aside, I learned (re-learned) a few things:

  • Goals must be written. 
    • I believe the statistic on the webinar was around 40% more likely. I found a couple articles with statistics up…

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The Dream

No doubt you’ve had more of those type of dreams.
Thanks Casey. M

Hypervigilant.org

We agreed for a little girl to live with us while her parents sorted things.

Dad is in jail, mom was on drugs but is trying to get clean.

She is ten, with thick, frizzy brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Round, sweet face, eyes made owlish by thick glasses with dark purple frames.

She wears a purple puffy jacket, which should be my first clue it’s a dream.

Those went out of style decades ago. Then again, trends cycle. Maybe she’s ahead of the curve.

We meet at a small, family-owned restaurant with a store attached. Evidently this is where she has spent her after-school hours starting back in pre-school. Her babysitter used to work here but is long out of the picture.

“She was such a good little girl” that everyone else agreed to jointly keep an eye on her until her mother sent a ride…

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