What heals? 5/6 — The daily addict

I really like this quote by Mooji: ” Don’t remind the world that it is sick and troubled, remind it that it is beautiful and free.” When I entered into a rehab over 12 years ago…gods grace allowed me to hear that I was not a bad person…but that I had a disease. I had […]

What heals? 5/6 — The daily addict

Ah ha! 4/25 — The daily addict

Sometimes things just click. Even though I might have heard the same thing 700 times in 700 different ways…on occasion it registers. I have been listening to a gentleman on Youtube. He talks as he is painting beautiful pictures. It is really soothing to watch and listen. Today he was speaking of acceptance and the […]

Ah ha! 4/25 — The daily addict

Silly but I’ll share it 1/26 — The daily addict

So I think this might fall into the superstitious category. We all know the common ones like a broken mirror is 7 years bad luck, a black cat crossing your path, death comes in threes or not to walk under a ladder. Sports players won’t shave their beards or cut their hair when they are […]

Silly but I’ll share it 1/26 — The daily addict

Something that helps me let go 12/5 — The daily addict

There have been many instances in my life where I should have let go of something – but I did not want to. I was afraid. I was afraid to let go of relationships, homes, cars, jobs. I would state that ” I don’t like change”. But life itself is in a constant state of […]

Something that helps me let go 12/5 — The daily addict

I am a fish – my thoughts – the bait 11/17 — The daily addict

I keep learning about the play of life. The beauty the nonsense the funny the scary the anxious the kind and the rough. The impatient the relaxed the millions of different states that this physical body can feel in any given day. I watch them all come and go. Some I might get caught up […]

I am a fish – my thoughts – the bait 11/17 — The daily addict

Humility in recovery 10/19 — The daily addict

When I was first attending recovery meetings and I heard the word humility I definitely mistook it for the word “humiliation.” As time went on and I started to clear up, I began to learn of the grace that is all wrapped up in the word and feeling of humility. When I am humble…there is […]

Humility in recovery 10/19 — The daily addict

Zoom Recovery 9/16 — The daily addict

I find that addicts tend to be very resourceful people. During active addiction the things that we did to “get” what we needed and the lies that we told to hide it…sometimes were quite clever. So when the pandemic hit we were very fortunate that the resourceful recovering addicts used the zoom platform to hold […]

Zoom Recovery 9/16 — The daily addict

The need for attention 9/9 — The daily addict

Such a funny thing. When I was early in my recovery I believe I was seeking attention from others, especially the opposite sex. (sometimes I can still fall into that trap) The drugs and booze were gone so my ego was desperately seeking to fill itself with something else. Even though I understand it now, […]

The need for attention 9/9 — The daily addict

How does he know that? 8/6 — The daily addict

The children that I nanny for; George (6) and Clayton (4) are wise beyond their years. Maybe all children are this way..but I currently am experiencing the wisdom of these two. One day while driving Clay to speech class we were talking about the day ahead. He was asking what will we do after speech. […]

How does he know that? 8/6 — The daily addict

My disease at it’s finest 8/2 — The daily addict

Events and circumstances allow me to recognize just how strong and prevalent this disease still is and can be in my mind. A friend of mine (who is also in recovery) had surgery last week. The day after the surgery I brought over a pizza and checked in to make sure he was doing ok. […]

My disease at it’s finest 8/2 — The daily addict

This illusionary costume 7/31 — The daily addict

The physical costume that I am wearing feels like it keeps getting filled with nonsense. I was listening to a spiritual guru named Mooji this morning. He states that “all problems are personal.” This statement sheds light on my egoic self. The self that claims an identity in this costume that I physically wear. I […]

This illusionary costume 7/31 — The daily addict

A life saving tool 7/26 — The daily addict

Depending on what you are addicted to…be it drugs, alcohol, women, men, drama, anger, fighting, shopping, food, money, or gambling – it controls you and you do not control it. My experience in addiction has been with drugs and alcohol. The substances controlled me because every decision I ever made while I was using revolved […]

A life saving tool 7/26 — The daily addict

Obsession beats self will 7/15 — The daily addict

I love to have proof of something. God…prove it! I can attest to the fact that I could not with my own mere mortal self will beat the obsession that I had for alcohol and drugs. When the addict/alcoholic takes the first one..be it drink or drug…the phenomenon of craving begins which then triggers an […]

Obsession beats self will 7/15 — The daily addict

Life and Death decisions 6/30 — The daily addict

A choice or a decision that might seem trivial to the non addict can actually become a life or death situation for the addict in recovery. Especially someone NEW in recovery. I was listening to a gentleman named Kyle share at a meeting the other evening. He stated that he had 20 days clean. He […]

Life and Death decisions 6/30 — The daily addict

People do change 6/25 — The daily addict

I am challenging the old adage “a leopard can’t change his spots.” A miracle is defined as a change in perception. Wayne Dyer stated : “When you change the way you look at things….the things you look at change.” Recovery produces these changes. I have seen the near dead come back to life. I have […]

People do change 6/25 — The daily addict

To identify and not compare 6/24 — The daily addict

This is a concept that I was first introduced to in recovery. I was taught when someone was sharing their thoughts and feelings at a meeting to “identify” with the speaker and not “compare” myself to them. Coming into the rooms of recovery there is every walk of life imaginable. Much to my surprise there […]

To identify and not compare 6/24 — The daily addict

What does addiction have to do with it? 6/21 — The daily addict

The other day I received a comment on a post that got me thinking. The person was wondering what addiction had to do with the topic that I had posted about. Such a good comment because it made me realize not everybody knows. Not everybody knows that EVERYTHING that I encounter in this life, every […]

What does addiction have to do with it? 6/21 — The daily addict

Addiction is a response 6/13 — The daily addict

I was listening to Dr. Gabor Mate give his explanation of addiction on a youtube video. Gabor stated that “Addiction is a response to human suffering.” I understand this perspective. I have heard it said many times in recovery that the drink and drugs are but symptoms of the disease. So it is like sneezing […]

Addiction is a response 6/13 — The daily addict

The island of misfit toys 6/7 — The daily addict

I have heard many times in recovery addicts referring to themselves as belonging on the island of misfit toys from the Rudolph classic. I always found this to be a light funny way to express the feelings that we as addicts did not «fit» into society. We were the unwanted. The outcasts. For many these […]

The island of misfit toys 6/7 — The daily addict

Did I choose Addiction? 6/1 — The daily addict

As a child with dreams and an astounding imagination becoming an addict was most certainly not on my list of wants or to do’s. But the thing that my hearts deepest desire held …… led me to become an addict so I could simply and truly understand the connection with a higher power. Confused? Here […]

Did I choose Addiction? 6/1 — The daily addict

Doctors make the best Dealers 5/31 — The daily addict

I am sure this will piss some people off…but that is not my intention. This is my experience only. I even have experience working for a primary care physician for 3 years while I was in recovery. So I did get to see the struggle for the physician as well as the drug seekers. My […]

Doctors make the best Dealers 5/31 — The daily addict

The unique addict brain 5/30 — The daily addict

I was listening to someone sharing on a recovery meeting. They said they were working a new job and their coworker was complaining about their psychiatrist. Apparently the psychiatrist just kept giving prescriptions for Ritalin to the coworker. The coworker expressed she hated the effects of it and really wanted a new doctor. The addict […]

The unique addict brain 5/30 — The daily addict