EMDR Journey Notes – Catch up — Owning It

I am a few days into my decision to get EMDR. Just opening the subject has been fairly powerful and I want to maintain a diary of the process. I will share what I’ve posted elsewhere and from here out will be doing entries here. 9/2/2020 Guys I interviewed a therapist who does EMDR today. […]

EMDR Journey Notes – Catch up — Owning It

Welcome Bring Change To Mind Student & Communities —

Dear BC2M Community, Although school looks a bit different this year, we’d like to give a warm welcome back to our BC2M students and their communities. And to the parents and family members who are working through remote learning with your children, we honor you.We have committed ourselves across the country to be a pillar of stability, […]

Welcome Bring Change To Mind Student & Communities —

Five Small Ways To Look After Your Mental Health Every Day —

If you’re looking for ways to support your mental health but you don’t know where to begin then don’t worry, not alone. Although it can be overwhelming, you need to be sure you’re doing all that you can to look after yourself, including your mental health. Luckily, there are lots of ways in which you […]

Five Small Ways To Look After Your Mental Health Every Day —

Fibromyalgia Thoughts #4 Living Without A Flair —

Vacuumed kitchen and dining room. Mopped kitchen. Applied cuticle cream twice. Vacuumed part of the living room, still need to clean the floor. Potted two house plants. Enjoyed a candle for a few minutes. Emptied dishwasher. Woke up 4:00 A.M. with the puppy. Haven’t taken a nap. I cleaned up but no shower, those […]

Fibromyalgia Thoughts #4 Living Without A Flair —

Survivors Blog Here Celebrates Six Anniversary With Open House! Stop By For Refreshments

Survivors Blog Here is celebrating our six anniversary with a big celebration! Come by, say hello, browse and read a few posts while enjoying the refreshments.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

We could not have made this journey without the thousands of guests on our site. I want to thank each of you and let you know you’ve made an impact on the community. I look forward to more guests and want you to know our Contributors and followers appreciate you. 

Survivors Blog Here continues to evolve, shaped by life experiences and your feedback. Thank you for taking the journey with us, we learn from you every day. If you’re unfamiliar with our site, we’re a collaboration of writers with different backgrounds and challenges. Supporting men and women as they work thru a trauma, taking steps forward, to move beyond the pain. https://survivorsbloghere.wordpress.com  You can learn more by reading our “About Us” page.

I’m honored and humbled to work with Contributors past and present who share their experiences, pain, and triumphs with a deep desire to pay it forward. I believe they shine a light on the human spirit. 

Robert M. Goldstein    http://robertmgoldstein.com

Casey Alexander   http://hypervigilant.org

Surviving the Specter    http://survivingthespecter.wordpress.com

Hyperion     http://returnofdragons.wordpress.com

sedge808    http://sedge808.com

Army of Angels https://armyofangelspart2.com

Positively Alyssia     http://fightmsdaily.wordpress.com

Life with an illness     http://lifewithanillness.com

Chronic Pain with a Higher Perspective       http://validatingchronicpain.com

Adi’s Wings     http://adiswings.com

A Patients Voice                http://apatientsvoice.wordpress.com

Alexandra Hampton      http://journeyintoa.wordpress.com

Looking for the Light Blog  https://lookingforthelight.blog

Marcus     http://survivorroad.wordpress.com

Owning It Log   http:owningitlog.wordpress.com

Don’t Lose Hope  http://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com

We invite you to join us on the journey ahead. 

Your voice is important, your comments are read and we listen without judgment. Please let us know what you like and what you don’t, the good bad, and ugly. Are there other topics you would like to see addressed? We’re listening.

Melinda

Boxed In — A Patient Voice

What if I am not as resilient as people say? What if I am not as mindful as people think I am? With a lot of therapy and personal awareness, I find myself asking these questions. Throughout the last few months, my exploration has led me to two conclusions. The first that uncertainty and not […]

Boxed In — A Patient Voice

The Rules We Live By — Guest Post Purple Butterflies and Winter Dragonflies

What Rules Do You Have? Wearing certain styles of clothes or avoiding certain colours so you don’t stand out perhaps. Maybe its arriving at an event early so you are not the last one to enter the room or so you can plan your escape if you need to leave. I didn’t realise I had […]

The Rules We Live By — Purple Butterflies and Winter Dragonflies

I’ve updated My Photo —

The photo I’ve been using was old, back when I was younger and believe much prettier, but reality can burn sometimes. Fifteen years, anti-psychotic medications and chronic illness has changed my looks. I have always been comfortable with how I looked. That is until three years ago when I gained over 40 pounds from taking […]

I’ve updated My Photo —

LGBTQ college students more likely to develop eating disorders, University research says

1/28/2020, 10:48PM

University of Minnesota research looked into disparities between heterosexual, cisgender and LGBTQ college students.

By HANA IKRAMUDDIN

A new University of Minnesota study found that LGBTQ college students are more likely to develop eating disorders than their heterosexual and cisgender peers.

The study, which used data from the College Student Health Survey, aimed at finding the existing disparities between the rates of eating disorders in LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ students. The researchers also measured the disorder’s impact on academic achievement and success.

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness, said Emily Pisetsky, the lead researcher and an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. This makes eating disorders an important topic to delve into, especially as it relates to minority groups, she said. 

“We know that early intervention is associated with better outcomes,” Pisetsky said. “Being able to identify folks who are high risk will allow us to have more targeted intervention and prevention efforts.”

According to the study, cisgender women, transgender and gender-nonconforming students reported higher rates of eating disorder diagnoses than cisgender men.  

In comparison to their heterosexual peers, lesbian, gay and bisexual students also had a higher likelihood of having these disorders. Within these identities, bisexual students and students who were “unsure” of their sexual identity had the highest rates.

“[Bisexuality] is not a group that you hear as much about, and we think that may be part of the stigma,” Pisetsky said. “It’s something that can often be sort of minimized and not feel … quite like they fit in with the queer community or quite like they fit in with the straight community.”  

In addition, bisexual students were more at risk of having eating disorders impact their academic performance and achievement.

“The cognitive burden of navigating your identity development [takes] up a lot of mental space, which may take up more space than the off-the-wall college student, where you have a lot going on already,” said Melissa Simone, a postdoctoral research fellow in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.

The fact that a sexual identity can put some at a higher risk of eating disorders and can impact academic success is something that needs to be looked into further, said Autumn Askew, who works at the Minnesota Center for Eating Disorder Research and contributed to the study.

“We are actively educating all of our clinicians here to recognize that eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, colors, everything,” said Jennifer Krzmarzick, who is on the eating disorder team at Boynton Health.  

For those worried about a friend’s mental health or eating patterns, Krzmarzick recommended a visit to Boynton or The National Eating Disorder Association website.


Things That Broke Me – Part 4

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 19, 2018.

First and foremost, I cannot stress enough that my ex had nothing to do with breaking me.

The breakup, however, did.

Let’s start with the beginning and get to where I broke….

I wasn’t happy for a while in my relationship, but thought for so long that it could work itself out or there would be some moment where it just fizzled easily apart. Obviously, neither of those options happened, but what did was a wake up call that I had never anticipated.

I was sitting at my work station on a Friday, just doing what I did everyday. Then, bam! Old Alex appeared in my mind. And she was mad. She’s the girl I had left behind almost 4 years prior, strong and independent, badass. She began listing all the things I had sacrificed and would sacrifice in the future. All of it was true.

Now, she wasn’t entirely mean, but she definitely woke me up. I’ll yell ya, she was definitely scolding me. I could see clearer then than I had for a very, very long time… and I was horrified. I couldn’t believe what I had done and who I had let go of. I had lost who I really was… and for what? Nothing. Nothing in the world was worth giving up that person.

On top of that, I had given up many facets of my life that gave me joy and was going to continue to accept less than what I deserved. So I had not only lost myself, but I had stopped doing things I loved doing and would continue to accept less in my future than what I had previously always wanted. It would be sacrifice after sacrifice made by me and only me (hint: he wasn’t doing any of the sacrifices).

So. Obviously we know what happens next.

I got terrified and absolutely panicked after I broke up with him the first time. Yes, it took two times. After the first time, I told him specific things that needed to change. He tried for a few days, but still it was just one or two things on the list (a list of things very, very easy to do, I wouldn’t ask someone to move mountains if I knew it were impossible). A few more weeks go by and I can’t take it anymore. Old Alex was still in my head keeping me on track. I tell him I had to go and stay with my friend, if you read part one of this series you’d know, he said he loved me out loud for the second time, and I left.

Less than a week goes by and I met with him in our apartment and I ended it. He just sat there and shrugged.

It was 100% the right thing to do and I don’t regret it for a second.

Here’s where I broke…

I had thought I was going to marry this person and have kids with this person and be with him forever and always.

Read the last 283 words here.

Instagram

Hey there everyone!

Another change has happened within the last few weeks… I post a positive message (image) to my Instagram account every day! It’s typically a message that I will take with me through my day and I hope that seeing it helps others during their day. Check it out here!

img_9773

Meditate It Away

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 13, 2018.

I was having a really rough day just over a month ago and I asked my best friend for some help. She had a bunch of positive affirmations and I needed some. She also told me about a meditation app. That meditation app has been my daily helper ever since I downloaded it!

The app is called Simple Habit. There are 5/10/15 minute meditations available with a ton of topics! I do it everyday before I leave the house. It clears out all my anxiety and any depression I may be feeling. It’s got options for if you’re having a rough day or starting something new or just going to start your day, etc.

Within the first few days, I noticed a change within my self and mind. From the teachings I’d meditated along with, I could just let my thoughts be instead of letting them get inside me and fester. I felt stronger just breathing and being at peace. I had much more appreciation for myself and my life.

Read the last 143 words here.

Maybe I will get through this alright

Originally posted on Journey Into A on Feb. 21, 2018.

Maybe something’s wrong here

Maybe something’s right

But I don’t have you

By my side

My heart is beating faster

My hands are cold as ice

I don’t know if my head will stop pounding

What happened last night

I feel the clouds approaching

Thunder will start roaring

Maybe I will get through it alright

I hear the train’s whistle blowing

Stray cats are moaning

Maybe I will get through this alright

Well you came knocking on my door

The look on your face

tells me so much more

Where did we go wrong here

Where did we go right

Maybe I will get through this alright

things that broke me – part 1

After some recent painful nights, I thought up the idea to create a series where I can release some of the things that continue to haunt me. I am trying to change myself, trying to be more positive, and change my way of thinking for the better. This is my way of cleansing myself and making way for beautiful change.

Let’s begin with one of the toughest ones.

I was in a relationship with someone for close to 4 years and he told me “I love you” out loud twice. There were times where I’d ask him to say it and he’d mumble it, but I rarely asked because it made me feel so pathetic even having to ask. The first time he said it on his own was when I tried to break up with him the first time (a month before actually ending it) and then the second time was right before I walked out the door for good.

His reasoning for not being able to say it was that his ex had “fucked with his mind for over a year”. At first, I understood that, but after we moved in together (after a year) and then more years stacked on to us being together, it felt more and more ridiculous and got more and more painful for me. I hate telling people about this whole thing because I still feel like an idiot. Who would put up with that?

I said it almost every day. Sometimes, I’d try to see how long I could go without saying it and I’d only last about 2 days. Why did I try not to say it? Because saying “I love you” to someone and NEVER getting an “I love you” back is so. fucking. painful. After a while, I felt embarrassed at myself each time I would say it.

Oh and we’re not talking about an agreed upon thing here. It’s not something that was ever okay with me and it was brought up many times. Some people have an understanding or whatever and that’s fine, but it’s not fine when it’s not agreed upon by both people.

Read the last 105 words here.

Hot Topics!

177073-Beautiful-SundayI hope y’all have had a wonderful weekend! It is always so amazing how fast it goes by and then we have another 5 very long days we have to be at work! I guess it is kind of a blessing in disguise because at least we have another chance to make our week great!

I am sure everyone already knows this, but there are some topics you should never talk with family or friends about! Most of us have our own very passionate beliefs regarding politics and religion that probably do not match up with everyone. It is okay that we all have our own thoughts about these topics, but arguing about them will never solve the issues and you will never be able to change someone else’s mind! Never in my life have I ever been a political person, but I do have my strong opinions on the topic that are not influenced by anyone but myself! 

Another hot topic that should be avoided with family and friends is same-sex marriage! I am one who believes very strongly that we are entitled to love whom ever we choose Love no boundariesand therefore should be able to marry whom ever we love! Same sex marriage does not harm anyone, but talking ill of this in a “free country” will ultimately harm others. Why does it seem that so many are only okay if you marry someone of the same color, religious following, same ethnicity, but it must be the opposite sex? Who has a right to say who you should or should not love?

As y’all can probably tell, there are some things I am extremely passionate about and feel very comfortable sharing my thoughts! I think we should all feel comfortable with who we are and never feel any shame about it! I believe very indomitably that we should feel free with our beliefs! I will not get into how I feel about politics though only because that is probably a more intense conversation!

I want to thank y’all for visiting my site today and reading my semi rant! I get so frustrated with the negative thoughts surrounding these topics and will never When-you-look-at-your-enemy-in-the-face-and-all-you-feel-is-love-then-you-have-achieved-acceptance.-Joan-Ambuunderstand the hostility with certain things! Sometimes facts are facts and can not be changed, no matter what you do or say. I really feel that if there was more love and acceptance around us, instead of hatred and judgement, the world would be so much happier! I did not mean to go all pageant queen with that statement wanting world peace, but it would be really nice if we could all just get along!

I hope you have  a wonderful evening! Remember to always stay positive because it will pay off! Please feel free to leave a comment and I will respond as quickly as I can! I would really love to hear your thoughts! Sending you love and comfort always!

Love 2

Always, Alyssa