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Child Sexual Abuse

Making wrong right

My entire life has revolved around pretending I'm ok and as I grow and years go on I'm left in between the feeling of saying I'm not ok to others but never do I feel like they ok with my... Continue Reading →

The memories of what next?

Recently I spoke with my old therapist she has many years experience in defending aswell as writing up reports on abuse cases that will be going to court. I generally wanted to know the course of action that will happen... Continue Reading →

When the Narcissist is Invisible

Art by Rob Goldstein

Abstract Digital Painting                                        We

In this post I use ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ because my subjective experience is that of multiple separate people.

The children of pathological narcissists must blind themselves to behaviors that healthy people consider unspeakable.

Food deprivation, the theft of money, a lack of boundaries, triangulated relationships in which the child must either see the other parent as an enemy or hate the other parent outright, contempt for the achievements of others, the competitive behavior of a child, and the threat of psychological annihilation.

For the narcissist the worst crime is independent thought.

The child has no needs of his own.

He must have no dreams, and no vision of life without the clinging demands of a parent or parent surrogate who is essentially a two-year old with no insight.

The psychological death-blow is that the child must never surpass the parent.

My Mother despised my intelligence and…

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A Letter From Home: Dear Sara

Dear Sara, I'm at the park watching an old guy feed bread crumbs to a flock of pigeons. He’s like God throwing manna to the Children of Israel. It's magical. Sometimes I think all of life is magical but growd-ups don't... Continue Reading →

A Letter from Home: Dear Bobby

  Dear Bobby, From what I know about your Mother I can understand how you might stumble into relationships that feel deceptive and controlling. That you have survived to be as loving as you are attests to your strength of... Continue Reading →

To “I Am Not a Victim”

Art by Rob Goldstein

Audre Lorde We have nothing to gain from silence.

I Am Not a Victim                            I Am Not a Victim

I see that phrase at least three times during an average session online.

I Am Not a Victim

There is what the wordmeansand what it implies.

Various free online dictionaries define the word victim as: an unfortunate person who suffers from some adverse circumstance: a person who has suffered the effects of violence or illness or badluck: anaccidentvictim She’s just a victim of circumstances beyond her control.

Google Search Results

unfortunate victim

I decided to search Project Gutenbergand found a Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary

VICTIM

Vic”tim, n. Etym: [L. victima: cf. F. victime.]

1. A living being sacrificed to some deity, or in the performance of a religious rite; a creature immolated, or made an offering of. Led like a victim, to…

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Let’s Build a Real Moral Majority

Art by Rob Goldstein

Blog for Mental Health 2015

This is a reply to a friend with whom I’ve been discussing pedophilia.
My friend wrote:
“Does it matter if pedophiles have the chance to correct what they did? One abuse, two abuses, three abuses?
Does it help if the people that did this sincerely learn it is wrong.
I think rage is felt by all who are abused, not just you.
I think that each person answers questions for themselves.
I don’t think there are right and wrong answers.
I think one seeks closure
I think closure is difficult to find
Victims of pedophiles cannot remain victims”

My reply:

Once you’ve been victimized by a pedophile you will always have been victimized by a pedophile.

Once you’ve been raped you will always once have been raped

I don’t understand the American delusion that the secret to happiness is pretending that we don’t have moments of terrible pain just like…

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