Help Us Celebrate Our 8th Anniversary

In 2014 an idea was hatched to create a site that would allow everyone to share their story in a safe environment and Survivors Blog Here was born. Now it’s 2022, it’s hard to put into words what the past eight years have meant to me and the contributors of Survivors Blog Here. We have been able to share our stories of trauma and survival and meet so many other survivors along the way. Your stories were heard and we thank you for sharing them with us.

Our Mission Statement

We support men and women Survivors from every walk of life. Struggles with Trauma, Violence, Mental Illness, Child Abuse, Chronic Illness, and more. We’re here for you.

Providing support as you work towards healing, taking steps forward, moving beyond the pain and struggle. We’re a collaborative of like-minded writers and photographers with a mission: to offer a creative, honest, and safe place to gather. We offer support from a team of Survivors with diverse backgrounds, we believe everyone has a story to tell.

 

I asked the co-founder Army of Angles about her experience with Survivors Blog Here.

Happy Anniversary, Survivors!  I can’t believe eight years have gone by, in what feels like both the blink of an eye and an eternity. It seems like a lifetime ago when I started my journey of escaping and recovering from domestic abuse.  I remember many nights when Melinda took the time to chat with me through a blog and helped me to see that there were people who truly cared about others.  Over time, we decided to join together in our efforts to provide a safe place for others to blog openly about their battles which put them into the category of “Survivor”.

To all of our Survivor friends, Happy Blogoversary!

Here’s what a two of our contributors had to say about their experience with Survivors Blog Here

Don’t Lose Hope

“It’s been an honour to be a contributor to Survivors Blog. When we go through something traumatic it can be very isolating and lonely. Survivors Blog is a place you can go to feel supported. To feel there are others who truly understand – because they’ve gone through something similar to you. For some people, this may be the only lifeline they have. Friends and family may not really empathize – but there are those at Survivor’s Blog who do. And that can make all the difference in the world.”

Walking the Rails

In my experience, the ability to tell our stories to a non-judgmental audience can be a critical form of therapy. While I have been sporadic in my postings, I recognize the value of this effort and appreciate it being there for me when I need it.

I would also like to introduce our newest member, Bipolar: A Way of Life to the Survivors group. She was diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD, and has been managing these illnesses for the past 30 years. She is a new blogger and has a lot to offer the group. She’s also into personal growth so I’m sure she will be following you so you can share the journey together. Please see her About Me page, it’s on the pull-down menu under Contributors.

We’re proud of all our respected Contributors: Chronic Pain with a Higher Perspective, Sedge808, Robert M. Goldstein, Survivor Road, Surviving the Specter, Positively Alyssa, A Patients Voice, Owning It, Don’t Lose Hope, Walking the Rails, and Bipolar: A Way of Life.

I can’t thank you enough for being a part of our story, our journey. I hope you will continue to walk with us as we turn the pages on our life. You can contact me anytime by leaving a comment on this post or our About Us page.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

@lookinglight

Happy New Year

It’s been a wild ride at times during 2021 but we made it! Now we can look forward to what the new year brings us. We want to thank you for being a loyal reader and growing with us thru the years. I know we’ll go to new places in 2022.

 

Be safe if you are out and about on the holiday, we want to see you here next year.

Melinda

November Awareness Days —

The list is quite long and I have no doubt a few are missing. Get on board and give a shout-out for the issues closest to your heart. Children’s Grief Awareness Month COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) Awareness MonthDiabetic Eye Disease Awareness Month Eye Donation MonthGluten-Free Diet Awareness MonthHome Care & Hospice Month Long-Term Care […]

November Awareness Days —

Things That Will Make You Feel Good About Your Life —

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day and lose sight of what matters. It can be challenging to find inspiration, but there are a few things that will make you feel good about your life.  Such include getting your health checked, continually chasing all your dreams, getting that promotion at work, attaining […]

Things That Will Make You Feel Good About Your Life —

Born in 2014 Survivors Blog Here is going strong for you.

I chose this photo because when I think of the type of environment we wanted to create at Survivors Blog Here, it’s an embrace. Embracing who you are, where you are, embracing you as you take steps forward and the occasional step back.

Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

Survivors Blog Here was created by three friendly bloggers, Army of Angles, Hyperion and myself, Looking for the Light. We had our own baggage and had been there for each other thru some difficult times. We wanted to take our collective knowledge to help others. Survivors Blog Here was the first name that came to mind and we were born in that early morning hour.

This is part of our Mission Statement if you will.

We support men and women Survivors from every walk of life. Struggles with Trauma, Violence, Mental Illness, Child Abuse, Chronic Illness, and more. We’re here for you.

Providing support as you work towards healing, taking steps forward, moving beyond the pain and struggle. We’re a collaborative of like-minded writers and photographers with a mission: to offer a creative, honest and safe place to gather. We offer support from a team of Survivors with diverse backgrounds, we believe everyone has a story to tell.

Our writers offer an interesting perspective, humor and wealth of knowledge through personal experiences. Each writer has their own blog, be sure to stop by their individual sites. Your questions and comments are important to us, you’ll get honest feedback even when it’s not want you want to hear. Everyone is important.

Photo by Marlon Martinez on Pexels.com

One of the keys to success at Survivors Blog Here was having other great contributors join the group and add their story, we all have one, sometimes ugly but all worth telling. We have a great team of contributors who have come and gone over the years but their legacy last in our archives. There is a wealth of knowledge of every imageable subject in our archives, be sure to search thru them for a gem you might be needing.

The Pandemic has been hard of many of the contributors who were having their own struggles before the most difficult times hit. Many contributors you haven’t seen in a long time, I miss them too. I’m confident our trusted contributors will return once life is less stressful and they are feeling more creative.

I want to thank the Contributors who have soldered on thru these difficult times to continue with informative, helpful post and to be there for everyone who needs their support. I truly appreciate your commitment.

Survivors Blog Here like all blogs has evolved like each of us do and I would love to hear from you on what you would like to see from us as we move forward. That’s been a key saying for us, Keep Moving Forward, let’s move forward together. I need you input.

What topics, deep conversations do you want us to have?

Most importantly what do you want from me? I’m the only active founder and don’t feel like I’ve been in touch with what you need from Survivors Blog Here recently.

I want all your comments, the good, bad, and the ugly. I want to know what you feel is missing in the blogging community and how do you think we can fill that need. I continue with our original mission but we are evolving and will add to our mission as we grow.

Melinda

Clean Your Air With A Homemade Oil Diffuser —

Willow & Sage by Stampington You will need Wooden diffuser sticks or other suitable decorative sticks Lavender essential oil Tea Tree essential oil Fractionated Coconut oil Glass bottle Blend essential oils into fractionated coconut oil at a ratio of about 1-4, fill glass bottle halfway and insert sticks. Use a bottle with the smallest opening possible, […]

Clean Your Air With A Homemade Oil Diffuser —

What Do you Think of Our New Theme?

 

                                                                                                                                                    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s been years since I gave Survivor’s Blog Here a facelift and today started looking around at options. Does this theme work for how you like the post to pop out on the front page. What is missing?

I want to hear your feedback not only about the theme but what you would like to see more of from Survivor’s Blog Here. I want the good, bad, and the ugly.

The COVID 19 virus has affected several of our contributors, I’m sure you’ve noticed less blogging in general. This to shall pass and I’m committed to making Survivor’s Blog Here a safe space for everyone to talk about their trauma, chronic illnesses, mental health, and recovery.

As we move into our seventh year I’m excited about the future, committed to growing the community, and getting you involved in shaping our growth. We would not be here without you, your stories, and your feedback.

Please take a minute to let me know your thoughts. I look forward to reading your comments and making changes as we grow together. 

Melinda and Team

It’s Been 28 years……… —

It’s been 28 years since you killed yourself. Too many Birthday, Christmas, and Thanksgivings. Wishing I could say I missed you but that would not be true. I do have some great snippets, little memories from my early childhood. Other memories, more unstable memories from my teens when I lived with you. Driving down the […]

It’s Been 28 years……… —

Survivors Blog Here Celebrates Six Anniversary With Open House! Stop By For Refreshments

Survivors Blog Here is celebrating our six anniversary with a big celebration! Come by, say hello, browse and read a few posts while enjoying the refreshments.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

We could not have made this journey without the thousands of guests on our site. I want to thank each of you and let you know you’ve made an impact on the community. I look forward to more guests and want you to know our Contributors and followers appreciate you. 

Survivors Blog Here continues to evolve, shaped by life experiences and your feedback. Thank you for taking the journey with us, we learn from you every day. If you’re unfamiliar with our site, we’re a collaboration of writers with different backgrounds and challenges. Supporting men and women as they work thru a trauma, taking steps forward, to move beyond the pain. https://survivorsbloghere.wordpress.com  You can learn more by reading our “About Us” page.

I’m honored and humbled to work with Contributors past and present who share their experiences, pain, and triumphs with a deep desire to pay it forward. I believe they shine a light on the human spirit. 

Robert M. Goldstein    http://robertmgoldstein.com

Casey Alexander   http://hypervigilant.org

Surviving the Specter    http://survivingthespecter.wordpress.com

Hyperion     http://returnofdragons.wordpress.com

sedge808    http://sedge808.com

Army of Angels https://armyofangelspart2.com

Positively Alyssia     http://fightmsdaily.wordpress.com

Life with an illness     http://lifewithanillness.com

Chronic Pain with a Higher Perspective       http://validatingchronicpain.com

Adi’s Wings     http://adiswings.com

A Patients Voice                http://apatientsvoice.wordpress.com

Alexandra Hampton      http://journeyintoa.wordpress.com

Looking for the Light Blog  https://lookingforthelight.blog

Marcus     http://survivorroad.wordpress.com

Owning It Log   http:owningitlog.wordpress.com

Don’t Lose Hope  http://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com

We invite you to join us on the journey ahead. 

Your voice is important, your comments are read and we listen without judgment. Please let us know what you like and what you don’t, the good bad, and ugly. Are there other topics you would like to see addressed? We’re listening.

Melinda

How writing about difficult experiences can help you take back your power —

IDEAS.TED.COM Jun 29, 2020 / Sakinah Hofler This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here. I have a question for you. Have you ever seen something and you wish you could have said something […]

How writing about difficult experiences can help you take back your power —

Secrets – A Foreword

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 24, 2018.

Time for another series.

With this one, I want to be clear that these are actual secrets. They’re things from my childhood that I witnessed that I never told anyone about. Not my dad, not my therapist, no one. If I had told them about it, it was years and years later when nothing could come out of it.

I was extremely protective of my mother and knew if I told anyone these things, they’d take me away from her. I was terrified of that. I thought it was the right thing to do. If I had spoken up sooner, maybe I would’ve been able to save myself from the things that pop into my mind now before I go to sleep (that’s mostly because I’ve been releasing things that used to keep me from falling asleep – look up my things that broke me series), but at the same time, I wouldn’t have known I was saving myself from anything at all and instead I would’ve most likely been resentful that I was taken away from my mother.

If I’d spoken up sooner, who knows who I would be. I seriously doubt I’d be the strong person I became through those experiences. I try not to wonder about those things. The point is, these experiences shaped a lot of my life and the decisions I made.

Read the last 79 words here.

Lesley Gore

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 22, 2018.

I have been listening to Lesley Gore a lot lately. “You Don’t Own Me” has been played about 20 times which probably isn’t all that surprising since all my recent changes have been shedding away things that have had “power” over me. I can’t get enough of it. It’s like my theme song of the moment.

My favorite part about her music is that it’s bubbly with lyrics that are sometimes a punch to the face. She’s a badass! “Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You”… *insert heart eyes emojis here*. She gives women power and strength!

There’s pain, angst, absolute beauty, and total strength in her voice. It’s empowering. I can definitely say that I am in love with her! Look her up!

Thanks for listening 😉

Felix Felicis

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 20, 2018.

I believe an update is warranted since I’ve made all these life changes…

It honestly feels like I have taken felix felicis, aka liquid luck (for all you non-Potterheads out there). It feels like every single move and decision and thought I make is the right one preparing me for the future I so wish to have. It’s incredible.

I haven’t felt this type of motivation in years. Solely because I had no idea what the hell I was doing or what the hell I wanted. Now, though, each day is it’s own step toward a greater goal. I am first and foremost bettering myself as a human. I’m changing the way I think and how things make me feel. I’m changing how I react to things and the way I talk about things.

Read the last 109 words here.

Things That Broke Me – Part 4

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 19, 2018.

First and foremost, I cannot stress enough that my ex had nothing to do with breaking me.

The breakup, however, did.

Let’s start with the beginning and get to where I broke….

I wasn’t happy for a while in my relationship, but thought for so long that it could work itself out or there would be some moment where it just fizzled easily apart. Obviously, neither of those options happened, but what did was a wake up call that I had never anticipated.

I was sitting at my work station on a Friday, just doing what I did everyday. Then, bam! Old Alex appeared in my mind. And she was mad. She’s the girl I had left behind almost 4 years prior, strong and independent, badass. She began listing all the things I had sacrificed and would sacrifice in the future. All of it was true.

Now, she wasn’t entirely mean, but she definitely woke me up. I’ll yell ya, she was definitely scolding me. I could see clearer then than I had for a very, very long time… and I was horrified. I couldn’t believe what I had done and who I had let go of. I had lost who I really was… and for what? Nothing. Nothing in the world was worth giving up that person.

On top of that, I had given up many facets of my life that gave me joy and was going to continue to accept less than what I deserved. So I had not only lost myself, but I had stopped doing things I loved doing and would continue to accept less in my future than what I had previously always wanted. It would be sacrifice after sacrifice made by me and only me (hint: he wasn’t doing any of the sacrifices).

So. Obviously we know what happens next.

I got terrified and absolutely panicked after I broke up with him the first time. Yes, it took two times. After the first time, I told him specific things that needed to change. He tried for a few days, but still it was just one or two things on the list (a list of things very, very easy to do, I wouldn’t ask someone to move mountains if I knew it were impossible). A few more weeks go by and I can’t take it anymore. Old Alex was still in my head keeping me on track. I tell him I had to go and stay with my friend, if you read part one of this series you’d know, he said he loved me out loud for the second time, and I left.

Less than a week goes by and I met with him in our apartment and I ended it. He just sat there and shrugged.

It was 100% the right thing to do and I don’t regret it for a second.

Here’s where I broke…

I had thought I was going to marry this person and have kids with this person and be with him forever and always.

Read the last 283 words here.

Instagram

Hey there everyone!

Another change has happened within the last few weeks… I post a positive message (image) to my Instagram account every day! It’s typically a message that I will take with me through my day and I hope that seeing it helps others during their day. Check it out here!

Similar Strangers

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 17, 2018.

Sometimes I don’t really even know how it happens, but I pretty often have amazing conversations with my passengers (I drive for a rideshare app). Those conversations make it all worthwhile, work and, truthfully, life itself (shows humanity in a kind light). No matter how I’m feeling, I know that any day I go out driving, I will still have one of these awesome conversations. Those conversations sometimes help me make sense of the world, or they let me see joy in small things, or they teach me new ways of thinking and seeing. It’s nothing I’ve experienced in any other job.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I had a passenger for about 40 minutes (traffic). He started off by asking me if I like Black Sabbath because I had their playlist going, to which I replied that I love them. Then it branched off into how I only really listen to oldies classic rock and how that originated and how it’s been 90% of what I’ve listened to for the past 5 years, yadda yadda yadda. Well, it turns out a lot of our music “origin story” was the same. I’ve never met another person that had such similar experiences! It was wild!

We both were raised listening to oldies classic rock. My dad would always have it on and so would his dad. We both didn’t know there was anything new for a chunk of our childhoods because all we heard was classic rock. Once we figured out there was a lot more music out there, we both explored, but as we got older, all we wanted to listen to anymore was oldies classic rock. Sometimes, we listen to newer stuff, but it doesn’t last long and we revert back. Put on a classic rock station in the car and we can sing along to any song, like a human jukebox, BUT we have to hear the first few seconds of the song to have the lyrics spring to mind. More often than not, we won’t know the title of the song or the artist.

I felt so normal. Not like it was ever a major negative with my life, but I haven’t met anyone else with such similar experiences. Those experiences are usually anecdotes when talking about how my taste in music came about. Apparently, it’s a little unusual what I like to listen to so I tell them those things which usually brings about a laugh. I like to think those experiences made me special because I’m proud of my music taste- a lot of it took deep exploration (thank you internet) and lots and lots of listening time.

Read the last 179 words here.

Sunny Feels

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 16, 2018.

Here is one of my playlists (via Spotify, I hope you have it). It has songs that make my mornings a whole lot easier! Anxious? Depressed? This playlist makes me feel at ease and joyful.

It includes songs from George Harrison, Donovan, Paul Simon, Carole King, Townes Van Zandt, Sandy Denny, and more! I hope you get the same feelings from it as I do!

Happy listening 🙂

The Slayer

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 14, 2018.

I started Buffy the Vampire Slayer a few nights ago. I had seen some episodes as a kid, but was really too young to have started it at the beginning or to understand a lot of what they were talking about. I guess I had initially watched after a few seasons, I remember thinking she was so cool.

Watching it now is probably a much different experience than those who had when it first aired, but I think it’s just the right time for me. The music is great, the sets, the outfits, the hair- all nostalgic for me! And Sarah…. Sarah Michelle Gellar! Beautiful and badass.

Read the last 80 words here.

Meditate It Away

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 13, 2018.

I was having a really rough day just over a month ago and I asked my best friend for some help. She had a bunch of positive affirmations and I needed some. She also told me about a meditation app. That meditation app has been my daily helper ever since I downloaded it!

The app is called Simple Habit. There are 5/10/15 minute meditations available with a ton of topics! I do it everyday before I leave the house. It clears out all my anxiety and any depression I may be feeling. It’s got options for if you’re having a rough day or starting something new or just going to start your day, etc.

Within the first few days, I noticed a change within my self and mind. From the teachings I’d meditated along with, I could just let my thoughts be instead of letting them get inside me and fester. I felt stronger just breathing and being at peace. I had much more appreciation for myself and my life.

Read the last 143 words here.

Changes

Originally posted on Journey Into A on March 12, 2018.

I had a day all to myself recently where I could just relax and do absolutely nothing. I thought it would be a great day, but somehow I still ended up feeling anger or sadness. Before I went to sleep, I really thought about this and asked myself “what was it that got into your day to make you feel so upset? You were at home all day! There shouldn’t have been anything to upset you.” I realized that the only times I felt anger or sadness were from when I had opened my Facebook app.

So I deleted it.

Now, I just deleted the app so I still have a Facebook, but I don’t have the easy access to it like I did before. I haven’t fully deleted it because of all the photos as well as the fact that that’s how I can reach my page (to promote my blog). I haven’t been on it in about 3 weeks and it has been so nice!

I have been trying to change my way of thinking for the better the past few months and everyday, I still kept getting dragged into the same old thought patterns. It always stemmed from going on that app and seeing so much hate and anger and sadness and complaining. It was too much. If I couldn’t control their narratives, then it was time to control my own.

I didn’t have to go on it. I didn’t have to read their posts. I didn’t have to be upset from, well, bullshit anymore. I could free myself from it. I have that ability.

Read the last 221 words here.

Things That Broke Me – Part 3

Originally posted on Feb. 24, 2018 on Journey Into A.

Here we are with the next bit to release…

This one stems from good ol’ Valentine’s Day. Basically Old Faithful for pain.

Valentine’s is one of those days that makes you think about what has happened on all the previous ones, or at least that’s what happens for me. I’ve been hurt on more Valentine’s Days than not. I’m half terrified of the day each year.

Let’s start small. A high school boyfriend avoided me on VD and then called me from Ruby’s Diner that night and invited me to Ruby’s all in the same breath as when he said that I couldn’t possibly make it there in time to order and eat before his mom would pick him up… Lame.

One guy I dated took me to see “He’s Just Not That Into You” and then we sat in his car for over an hour after just listening to Dane Cook. He just turned up the volume or didn’t respond when I’d try to talk. I left the next morning for a week to NY and there was no “I miss you” or anything. That blew.

One year, a boyfriend broke up with me on VD saying that he’d “rather smoke weed than be with [me]”. Now, I had no problems with him smoking weed, but he had told me that he wanted to quit smoking and then would lie and sneak behind my back. All I ever wanted was honesty. He’s also one that used to ridicule my short hair after he dumped me so there’s not much lost in that relationship, but that experience on VD sucked.

Read the last 179 words here.

Maybe I will get through this alright

Originally posted on Journey Into A on Feb. 21, 2018.

Maybe something’s wrong here

Maybe something’s right

But I don’t have you

By my side

My heart is beating faster

My hands are cold as ice

I don’t know if my head will stop pounding

What happened last night

I feel the clouds approaching

Thunder will start roaring

Maybe I will get through it alright

I hear the train’s whistle blowing

Stray cats are moaning

Maybe I will get through this alright

Well you came knocking on my door

The look on your face

tells me so much more

Where did we go wrong here

Where did we go right

Maybe I will get through this alright

where you lead, I will follow…

Gilmore Girls will always hold a huge, special place in my heart. I have watched the entirety of the show countless times and still can’t get enough of it. It’s like a warm hug whenever I put it on. It’s like I’m going to go hang out with my friends all in the comfort of my own home.

When I was in middle school, my neighbors had introduced me to Gilmore Girls and right away, I was hooked. I had to go out and buy the first 2 seasons immediately so I could be caught up (oh, the days before Netflix…). I watched all of those episodes, then would watch a rerun every day at 5pm on ABC Family, and then just chomp at the bit waiting for the next episode to air.

During that time, I had started living full time with my dad and my stepmom. I had a rocky upbringing due to being in the middle of a custody battle for 11 years (along with some other stuff from Mom, we’ll get into that another time), so my dad and I had a hard time getting onto the same page (trust issues). He would watch Gilmore Girls with me in the living room just about every time it aired in the beginning of the week and we would laugh together and talk about the show. We really bonded over it.

Growing up, I was a lot like Rory. Total bookworm, had a badass taste in music, and knew way too much about pop culture for people to understand me completely. She made me feel cool and confident in a time where I needed help with that the most. I was definitely proud to be like her and thought it was so cool seeing a young female shown that way on tv!

As I have gotten older, the more I admire Lorelai. She has so much strength and it’s inspiring how she put it to use. How we both built up our strength might be different, but it’s empowering to see a woman overcome obstacles on her own. She went out, made a new family of friends, worked hard and reached her goals. It may have been hard at times, but she got through it with style and her amazing wit.

Read the last 133 words here.

hi-atus

Hello everyone.

I apologize for going away, but I really needed time to myself. I’ve been going through a lot the last few months, mostly depression, and it’s been difficult to find motivation. When it came to writing here, all my thoughts were depressed and I didn’t want the path of my blog to steer towards only depressed posts.

Now, I’m in a transition where I don’t want to dwell on the past, but I also want to release some of the painful things that have happened in my life. Maybe that’ll help as a sort of cleanse. I’ll release them here in writing and maybe others with similar experiences will see they’re not alone and that one day, they can move on from them, as well.

Thank you for sticking with me!

Visit my blog here!

Tips for a Better Sleep with Pain Insomnia

With a chronic illness, comes joint pain, body pain, and migraines. It becomes a marathon just to be able to sleep, due to the pain. It can get stressful when your body craves sleep, however, your body won’t let you catch some Z’s. With a chronic illness, your body needs the time to repair and […]

via Tips for a Better Sleep with Pain Insomnia  — Life with an Illness

Midweek Motivation

via Midweek Motivation  — Life with an Illness

Gavin Kerslake Featured Blogger for December

Introducing

It’s an honor to introduce good friend Gavin Kerslake as Featured Blogger for December 2017. Gavin’s highly successful personal site Noir, http://www.sedge808.com. I have no doubt you will want to follow his work. Gavin also contributes to http://www.survivorsbloghere@wordpress.com, a Survivors community.

Gavin is a Professional Photographer, Music Lover, Street Dancer and Published Author. His first book ‘Noir’ released in September 2017.

What hobbies do you have outside of photography?

Music is my favorite thing in my life. I’m into electronic music, but love all kinds of music. Film (movies, TV Series etc) are a big thing in my life. Love Horror and Science Fiction, but also like Foreign Films very much too. I watch a lot of them.

When did you start dancing? Did you dream of having a Studio? 

I started dancing in my late teens, and went to jazz classes every week. In my early 20’s I took up full-time study. In my 30’s I became a dance teacher. Ballroom, jazz, Techno, Latin and Rock and Roll. I never had a desire for a studio.

Tell me about performing with the Australian Ballet Company.

It was a huge honor. They travel around Australia to each city. Myself and another man were chosen to perform with the ballet. A bit like an extra in a movie. It was awesome, a lot of fun. Wore a full Scottish kilt, for each performance and stage make up

Your first photos were in color, why did you switch to Black and White?

Very good question. Color was very much my thing when I started photography in 2009. The Flickr community got me interested because I was seeing a lot of Black and White photography. That’s when I made the change, and joined WordPress. My followers were used to me doing color, when I started B&W, they didn’t like it. I decided to use WordPress for my B&W photos.

Your book Noir looks incredible, the photos flow so well. How did you decide on layout?

Thank you very much. It took a lot of effort, and I got RSI from all the work I put into it. I wanted to have themes that flowed throughout the book. I’m very happy with the result.

How do you feel with a published book?

Proud and happy. There are more books coming in the future, but they will be color.

It’s a pleasure to work with friends, hugs…thank you Gavin.     Melinda

Here are additional outlets where you can find Gavin’s work.

http://www.fluidr.com/photos/sedge808/interesting

http://www.redbubble.com/people/sedge808

http://au.blurb.com/b/8048225-noir

Maintaining

Originally posted on Journey Into A on November 15, 2017.

A couple of weeks ago I had a passenger who answered the phone and when the caller asked how he was, he said “I’m maintaining”. It stuck with me. It felt like the first time I’d ever heard someone say that.

The brain works in mysterious ways. Perhaps I’d heard that a hundred times in my life, not as many times to refer to as “common” when I’d usually think of the typical responses of “oh, doing fine”, “I’m alright”, “I’m good” or “I’m getting by”, I’m going through some things”, etc. I have truly no recollection of ever having heard that before, but this time I heard it, and I mean heard it, because I needed to hear it. He said something completely in the middle of those common responses.

It struck me as gold. It was a way to communicate that you’re going through the good and the bad that life throws at us. It was that middle ground that explains being in between or in transition or in coming out of something or changing. It alludes to you having gone through some things and that you’re actively working to move past them. It was beautiful. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I told him right then and there that I’d liked his response. I told him how it made me feel and how it provoked so much thought. It was an honest response. It was a way to not feel that guilt you feel when you toss someone one of those generic responses. You know the feeling- you get it with those people that you feel really could hear you and listen to you, but you give them the old “I’m fine” when they ask how you are. You gave them that response because you still aren’t sure if they will really hear you, when so many don’t listen or don’t want to listen. We don’t want to bother anybody with the truth.

Read the last 111 words here.

World of Pains

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles are to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”  ― John Keats, Letters of John Keats

 

Image Source: pinterest.com

 

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Xx  M

What Makes a Memory, and Why

Dear Readers of Survival,
I have neglected this site, as well as my own as of late. The past years dedication to WP had seriously eaten in to my obligations as a homemaker and Mom. I have decided to slow down, a lot. However, this question/thought hit me the other night. I hope you will be able to add to it!!! Much love, Heather

Pondering…..

I sit quietly alone on my terrace watching the sun set on the day, as I have done oh so many times before. There is one particular sunset I do recall. Though it was only about 4 years ago, the night was still, the air a pleasant spring time damp. Torches of candle flame stood tall without nary a breeze to fight. This sunset is a memory. I ask myself just when it became so and just why. What was so different than all of the other nights when most probably, the setting was just the same? I ask myself “Will tonight become a memory and if so, when?”

When does an event cross the line and become embedded in our hearts or mind. Why is a memory thought as one a day later, but forgotten with time? We use the terminology in the present that it will “make a great memory”. Such a fun time, a sad time, an unexpected moment, but does it always make the cut, does it really? No, it doesn’t. We forget it. We can possibly recall it with help, but it is not embedded as a memory free for the taking.

I can recall a time when I was about 4 years old popping tar bubbles on a telephone pole one hot summer day. Why? Was it the sensation of the goo on my fingers that nothing else ever matched? What was it? Why is this afternoon of my life still so vivid? The first Beatle album I ever listened to and just exactly where and how I was sitting on the floor of my neighbor’s bedroom at the tender age of about 6. When my dog got sprayed by a skunk. I am sure that memory and the tomato bath she received that night was perhaps distinctly because of the odor I encountered all but once in my life.

People. I have memories of people whose life crossed mine for not more than 10 heartbeats of my own life. Why them? What subconscious meaning did they give me? Something, for sure. Why do I recall them now? Today? Why do my friends have vivid memories of times with me and I, myself, have no recollection of that moment?

The mind and the way it files and retains events selectively is astonishing. Are memories to treasure, to learn from, or to keep a mental note on just how fast time flies? A marker for where we were then and where we are now? As a reminder of simpler days, of harder ones, as ones we didn’t even notice or appreciate in their presence (Hence, a dog’s tomato bath). Will this evening 10 years from now be a memory? I doubt it, but I never expected tar popping to be one either.

Memories, What do you think???

Sunsets and Memories

Sunsets, like childhood, are viewed with wonder not just because they are beautiful but because they are fleeting.” ― Richard Paul Evans, The Gift

Sunsets, like empires and memories of love long ago, fade slow; first brilliant, then warm, and finally passing to silk brocade on black velvet.  How much more beautiful they are in memory when the busy moments of planning and passing through life have stilled.

When the Child hasn’t survived

I sit here in the midst of an amount of wash not known to mankind. I look, I think. I ask what more could I have done.
It was before the death of my husband that it was noticed that my oldest needed help. Something was “wrong”. She was then only in the 3rd grade. 3 years later when her Father died, she never really came back to her pre 3rd grade personality. What happened to her is still a mystery, only known to the monster that is eating at her life.
At the age of 21 now, no where near being able to move out and move “on”, no where near being able to reach to ask what it living inside her head making her the self destructive person she is by not caring about her personal belongings, not finding value in anything at all, what do you do?
What do you do when YOU have survived only to live in the eyes of the trauma you child can’t break through, perhaps never break through. How do you deal with the pain today, that was far worse than the pain of yesterday.
You pray….you hope…you cry and then you cry again.
Time is very much synchronated, but not the clock of survival. There we all wear own very own personalized watch.
For your child, it is being there. Promising them that you will never give up on them even if they give up on themselves….and holding that promise sacred. Their time will come. It must.

You DO Have Strength

Survival seems a lifetime as it is occurs. It exhausts our adrenals as we live in fight or flight modus.

At times we cannot pinpoint just when it started, when we suddenly realize we are as far removed from our inner self as possible.

We see no light, no end. Minutes streamed together seem to make up the days in our life. Painful days when we wake each day to once again, be the star of the wrong movie.

This is a Survivors blog, for those that have crossed the finish line and for those still on their way.

We learn that life can and DOES change. That no matter how low, there will be a high, no matter how dark, there will again be light.

We may throw the ”unfair “card in from time to time. That waste of time card. Life is what it is. It is a perspective for those who go through it. What is devastating to one, is nothing to another. What cripples one, teaches the other to get up and forge through. It is in a nutshell, a choice. A choice to survive based on the inner strength we all have, that sometimes, we have been fooled to believe doesn’t exist.

Believe in yourself. The more strength you put into a positive day, the more distance you have from pain.

The more distance, the less it can feed you, leading it eventually  to die from your life.