Unfortunately the newsletter I received is a month behind, however this is a digital series and maybe missed episode may be available. http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mental-health-where-are-we-uncharted-state-of-mind-episode-1/
In this post I use ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ because my subjective experience is that of multiple separate people.
The children of pathological narcissists must blind themselves to behaviors that healthy people consider unspeakable.
Food deprivation, the theft of money, a lack of boundaries, triangulated relationships in which the child must either see the other parent as an enemy or hate the other parent outright, contempt for the achievements of others, the competitive behavior of a child, and the threat of psychological annihilation.
For the narcissist the worst crime is independent thought.
The child has no needs of his own.
He must have no dreams, and no vision of life without the clinging demands of a parent or parent surrogate who is essentially a two-year old with no insight.
The psychological death-blow is that the child must never surpass the parent.
My Mother despised my intelligence and…
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I would not have noticed her if our car had not cleared of people at Lexington Avenue.
She wore a tattered stocking cap.
She removed it and stuffed it into her jacket.
She held a grimy white bag between her legs.
She reached into it and pulled out half of a doughnut.
That was when I noticed her shoes.
The uppers had split from the soles; her feet were wrapped in newspaper and rags.
I thought, Mother, you need shoes.
I looked up and watched her untangle a lock of matted grey hair.
She reached into her bag and found bobby pins.
She styled the loosened lock of hair into a bun.
I wondered is forty dollars would do.
I had forty dollars.
It was for vitamins; specifically: anti-oxidants.
My body is rusting faster than a wet Ford.
The crows feet around my eyes whispered: erase us, your…
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There is self-esteem and grandiose narcissism..
There is the sense that you can accomplish your goals and grandiose narcissism.
My Mother was brutally narcissistic.
In her mind, I was an object, a toy used to control and dominate my father; a thing she used to secure and please new boyfriends.
My Mother’s control over my intellectual and emotional life was so complete that when she cried I cried.
Even when I didn’t know why she was crying.
Today’s therapy session focused on the fact that I still “discover” that someone I cared about and admired is a pathological narcissist.
I repeatedly “discover” that the breach of boundaries, the use of my resources without consideration, the inflated claims of competence and the derision for anyone who dared to contradict these claims are signs that I’m in another cycle of repetition.
I meet my Mother…
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When we first adopted our son as a newborn, complete strangers would come up to us to say he was the cutest baby they had ever seen. Many also choose, without asking permission, to ruffle and feel his hair. This... Continue Reading →
Sharon’s beautiful story of strength and love in her heart.
I was first diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at age 29, way back in 1988. The protocol at that time was to tell women to wait 5 years before getting pregnant or, as my breast surgeon so crudely put it, “Baby might not have a Mama”. Nothing like the subtle approach to shut down any further questions on that subject!
5 years passed, and I went to my “cure” date mammogram confident that all was well. It wasn’t. The cancer had returned to the same breast and as I had radiation the first time, the only option left was a mastectomy and 9 months of chemotherapy.
I again heard the “Baby and Mama” speech. I was told that chemo could possibly put me permanently into early menopause but as I was still only 34, there was a good chance the menopause symptoms would only…
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