It’s Friday! So glad you stopped by today. I hope you have a great weekend with friends and family staying COVID safe. MelindaFriday Quote —
A video starts and you see yourself. What if your first, unedited thought was “handsome and muscular”? Bear with me. The assessment isn’t fueled with bloated pride, nor was it a notion born of hope. What was seen was not a Hollywood hunk or Mr. Olympia. It was simply an appreciative recognition. And I can […]Home — Owning It
I wonder if you ever struggle with that painful feeling … The feeling that you really don’t deserve to be loved.
And when we’re in that desperate place we often move to self-attack. We turn against ourselves and we recite the countless reasons why we ought to be rejected, disliked or even scorned.
But this self-attack is crazy on so many different levels.
It usually has no bearing in reality.
Also, it serves no useful purpose, and it scars and wounds us deeply as we turn against ourselves with loud, self-shaming accusations.
Why do we do it?
There is a voice inside our head that has been nurtured through the years by negative experiences that left their mark on us. The voices of our parents, or of cruel, unloving people, have gathered evidence that now feels hard to contradict. Words like:
“Nobody likes you.”
“No-one cares about you.”
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Here we are two weeks in to 2021 and I haven’t written a post about New Years resolutions. It’s simple, I don’t make resolutions. Years ago I realized that at some point in the year my resolutions had gone by the wayside and or were not important any more. Photo by Julia Larson on Pexels.com […]I believe in goals not setting resolutions —
~Be Inspired & Stay Inspired~
Happy Wednesday! We have already made it halfway through this week, making us so much closer to the weekend! I don’t know about y’all, but I am looking forward to the weekend. Getting up early and working many hours a day has been exhausting, and I am looking forward to a couple of days with nothing that I have to do. Hopefully, a couple of short days of rest will help get me feeling a little better. I am not sure if it is the weather being pretty cold or lack of sleep, but my pain level has been pretty high. Yesterday, my legs and back were in so much pain, it actually hurt to walk, but I still pushed through because I refuse to give up and surrender to the pain!
We have all seen the awful things occurring in the United States, and…
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Although I entered 2021 very carefully, and continue to tiptoe around, the unbelievable just keeps coming. Perhaps most unbelievable in my world, is that the dad has just submitted his intent to represent himself in a court case that he initiated against me in 2018. He has been through nearly 10 different attorneys since our […]Is January the Preview? — Army of Angels: Part 2
Have a great Wednesday and I look forward to seeing you again next week. Peace, Melinda#Wordless Wednesday *Lady bug —
Mar 28, 2019 / Emily Nagoski + Amelia Nagoski Ashley Lukashevsky Too many of us struggle to achieve a body ideal that’s just not obtainable by humans. It’s time to redefine what’s good, healthy and attractive on our own terms, say writers (and sisters) Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. The Bikini Industrial Complex. That’s our name for the $100 billion […]Do you judge your own body? Here’s how to view it with love, not shame —
***TRIGGERS*** I wasn’t going to post this here, but I believe it maybe valuable to understand. I posted it in an online forum for survivors on 1-11-21. Last week I had maybe the most important therapy session ever. I began to talk in depth about a part of my experience I have often mentioned, but […]Killed Pleasure- EMDR Journey Notes — Owning It
~We All Deserve Peace & Tranquility~
Happy Tuesday y’all! How has your week been so far? I hope you are having a good week and you are able to stay safe, and calm! There are so many awful things that we are still seeing in the country, but we must try the best we can to distance ourselves from the negativity in the world and continue to be good individuals. If you are anything like me, you will be heartbroken because we have a heart and care about the lives of other human-beings.
Let us get out of this negative thinking and stay optimistic. I am hoping the quote I am sharing with y’all today will provide you just a little peace. I am not the best at avoiding stress because I tend to stress about everything, but I am going to start trying harder to practice peace…
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Rae listened to Ezra as they sat at the canyon’s edge, looking away from the falls to the open land below. The hills continued into the distance until they disappeared in a lavender mist.Tribal 11 — Notes From Afar
On Saturday morning while standing on the back patio I noticed this drone not very far up in the sky and just over the fence in the alley. My first reaction was fascination, WOW if I were a kid and had a toy like that I could have so much fun. Photo by The Lazy […]It’a A Bird, It’s A Plane, No It’s A Drone —
~It Is Time To Make The Most Of Another Week~
Happy Monday y’all! I hope you had a nice and safe weekend! My weekend was quiet and uneventful, which is the way I like it to be. It is sad how fast the weekends go by and then how long it seems to take the week to pass by. Did you do anything over the weekend? How ready for the week are you? Considering I have been busy at work, I am assuming this week will be just as busy which is fine with me! My husband’s birthday is tomorrow and normally we would be up snowboarding during this week, but because of COVID we are not able to. Considering he has already been able to get his first part of the vaccine and will be getting the second in a few weeks, I am hoping he will be able…
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“Your trauma is valid.
Even if other people have experienced “worse”.
Even if someone else who went through the same experience doesn’t feel debilitated by it.
Even if it “could have been avoided”.
Even if it happened a long time ago.
Even if no one knows.
Your trauma is real and valid and you deserve a space to talk about it.
It isn’t desperate or pathetic or attention-seeking.
It’s inconceivably brave.
And regardless of the magnitude of your struggle, you’re allowed to take care of yourself by processing and unloading some of the pain you carry.
Your pain matters.
Your experience matters.
And your healing matters.”
— Daniell Koepke
Please believe it. Take these words to heart.
We Need To Stop The Hate & Violence Now
Happy Sunday y’all! Before you start reading this, I just want to provide you wait a small DISCLAIMER/WARNING. I do the best I can to not write about politics, but this is about more than simple politics. I think y’all know by now I try to be open-minded, fair, kind, compassionate, and understanding, which is why this was so important for me to share. I know you might feel differently about tis, but I would really love to read and understand what your thoughts are.
The continued insanity that is going on within the United States is disgusting and shameful. The way people are following the idiotic ideas they are hearing from the president is not only awful but inhumane. Who would have thought our nation’s capital could be invaded so easily? These people were domestic terrorists that were fueled…
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It’s Friday! So glad you stopped by today. I’m still very shaken by the events that took place in America this week. This was a highly organized maneuver, we’re not talking about peaceful protestors, we’re talking about DOMESTIC TERRORIST. Saying those words make me shiver and leave me filled with disgust. Please pray for all […]Friday Quote —
The sun was falling behind the mountains, peeking over the ridges, and setting the hills, like backbones of long sleeping dragons, ablaze in golden hues.Tribal-10 — Notes From Afar
~We Made It Through The First Week of 2021~
Happy Friday y’all! I hope y’all had a great week and you are looking forward to the weekend ahead of us! My week has not been awful, but I am looking forward to a quiet and relaxing weekend. This getting up early thing and working at least 9 hours each has been exhausting. It is not any different from normal, but I feeling overly tired this week, and maybe a little stressed. It is possible it has something to do with the weather being so chilly and there still being an obnoxious amount of political drama still. Who would have thought this many weeks after the election there would still be so much non-sense? I almost think it is a little sad that there are this many adult men acting like toddlers.
Life in general can stressful, but work can add…
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I’m devastated by the scenes played out on television yesterday by thugs claiming to be patriots to America. People have the right to demonstrate peacefully for their beliefs, to have their voices heard but PEACEFULLY is an absolute must here. We are not that type of country, we will not be run my terrorist. When […]My Heart Bleeds For America —
~Today Is NOT Simply Thursday, It Is Friday Eve~
Happy Friday eve y’all! How has your first week of the new year been? It is still and will continue to be my hope, everyone will be able to get the COVID vaccine and we will ALL be safe. I am looking forward to the day when life can be “normal” again and I am talking about the “normal” we were used to, not the new COVID “normal”. I guess all we can do until that day is follow ALL the advice from experts, which means wear a mask, practice social distancing, wash your hands, and stay home! Believe me, I know how isolating this can be, but this cannot last forever.
We have almost made it through the first week of the new year and the weekend is just about here! Of course, we do have just one more day…
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Like the song says ” Life is a highway. I want to ride it all night long”.
In health, Melinda#Wordless Wednesday *Southern California —
“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to. But tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, “Me, too. ” And your tribe will gather. And you will never feel alone again.”
Can you imagine how good it would be to be able to talk? To be able to share. To have your pain held – like a scared, tender thing?
Can you picture that?
Can you imagine what it would be like to be understood? To feel understood. To know that you are not the only one. To know that others have walked in your shoes, and experienced what you’ve experienced.
Of course, it can never be exactly the same – because everyone’s experience is…
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~Our Halfway There Inspiration~
It isn’t just Wednesday y’all, it is halfway to the weekend! How has your week been? I am still hopeful that 2021 is going to be far better than 2020, but I guess we will have to wait and see. One thing I can say for sure is, the workweek is not getting any shorter. Do not get me wrong, I am thankful for my job and even more thankful I can work from home and stay safe. Although there is a vaccine for COVID, getting this vaccine is a entirely different situation. I would be nice if everyone in the world could get this virus because this would ensure the safety for everyone and actually save lives. I guess we all will all be able to get the vaccine in time.
Now we are halfway through our week and so close to the weekend, we…
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Sleep is something that evades a lot of people. If you’re having trouble getting to sleep at night, the problem could be a number of things. You’ve got to try and work out the best way to get to sleep so that you can get those all important hours. It may feel as though you […]Having Trouble Sleeping? Heres’s What You Should Try —
“Ang ganda mo, Tala-Rae.” You are beautiful, Ezra greeted Rae as her eyes opened to the green and gray mist that surrounded them up in their perch.Tribal-009 — Notes From Afar
My bodybuilding coach observed that I am in a lot of abundance right now. He noted that I do share some of my joy. But he asked how I could do more, what would it look like and how would it affect me. I blundered for almost a week. I am slightly concerned with being […]Bodybuilding Joy — Owning It
~Find Peace Within Each Day~
Happy Tuesday y’all! I hope 2021 is starting off well for you and you are enjoying the year so far! In previous years, my first day back to work after the new year I always had a hard time remembering the year change, but am finding it very easy to remember now. I guess it is because I was very ready to end 2020! I will admit to y’all, my first day back to work after the long weekend was not all that great, but I am not going to allow that to get me down and will keep pushing forward! It can be easy to let a bad day get you down in the dumps, but that does not solve anything!
We have just made it through one day of the first workweek in 2021! Even though this does leave us four…
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~First Monday Of 2021~
Happy Monday and happy 2021! I hope you had a lovely weekend and a wonderful, and safe New Year Celebration! We need to leave 2020 in the past and begin this week with a positive mindset. If we all try to think 2021 will bring all of us great new opportunities, I think we can make this happen! I will admit, Monday mornings, especially after a long weekend are not my favorite day, but I am trying to believe this week will be the start of an amazing year! We all went through a lot last year, so we might have to take it slow and think just one day at a time!
Y’all know I think we need a motivating quote to start our weeks with positive thoughts and an open mind! I am hoping the quote I am sharing with y’all today will start…
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Rae rolled over on her side and pressed herself against Ezra. He was warm and had a certain softness in his relaxed state that Rae loved.Tribal-008 — Notes From Afar
Let’s End 2020 & Begin 2021 With Positivity!
It really does seem as if 2020 started off going in the wrong direction, but never managed to change course for the better. To put it mildly, there has been an insane number of life-altering situations that have taken place during 2020 and none that I would want to relive or even wish on my worst enemy. This also goes far deeper than anything affecting me personally because what has gone wrong during this year has tragically impacted millions of people worldwide.
I do not think I had ever looked forward to saying “Goodbye” to any year previously in my life, but I am glad 2020 is now in our rearview mirror. There were so many tragedies that took place and many of which should never have happened in the first place. Everyone faces challenging times during their life, but I…
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One of the features of betrayal trauma is experiencing overwhelming feelings of panic. This is very normal; you aren’t going crazy.
However, it can be particularly scary when this is new to you, and especially when the feelings hit you unexpectedly. So what can you do to help you cope with the symptoms? The following suggestions have been shown to make a difference:
1. Remind yourself that what you are experiencing right now are actually exaggerated normal stress reactions. You body is sending out a warning sign. That is all.
2. Although they are unpleasant, these bodily sensations aren’t dangerous or harmful. Nothing worse is going to happen.
3. Take control of your thoughts. Don’t let them run away. Don’t allow “what if scenarios” to intensify the feelings of panic. Those thoughts are usually groundless. They’re extreme, and they’re unlikely.
4. Stay focused on the present and what is happening
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In health, Melinda#Wordless Wednesday *New Orleans —
What does that sigh mean when preceded by the fragrance of flowers mixed with coconut oil, raw, unfiltered, and sensational under pressing fingers, strong palms, and probing thumb?Tribal-007 — Notes From Afar
Stress is a major thorn in the side for many people. While it is natural and beneficial in certain scenarios, chronic stress is very unhealthy. It can have negative effects on your physical and mental health. If you are regularly hampered by stress and anxiety, it’s important to address it. Failing to acknowledge continuous stress […]Tips For Avoiding Unnecessary Life Stressors —
~Today Is The Last Monday Of 2020~
How crazy is it to think that today is the last Monday of 2020? Do not get me wrong, I am glad this year is almost over because it has not been a good year. I think it started off pretty awful, but only got worse as each day passed by. COVID has blanketed, not just the United States, but the entire world. Even though there has been so many terrible things during this year, I think it is critical to not dwell on all the bad and try to find the positive in the current day. Plus, we all need to hold onto hope that 2021 will be better and we might even be able to live our lives in a normal way again!
As we begin the last week of 2020, I think we need to remain motivated for great…
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Rae rolled carefully on her back and let the sensuous feel of the fur pelts against her skin urge her with pleasant thoughts to arise and greet the dayTribal-006 — Notes From Afar
“Fruit drops from the tree when it is ready. Staying too long, or moving too early, misses the mark … The process has its own timing, and it creates changes in your life when those changes need to happen.”
Here are a few thoughts on letting go:
1.Letting go is a process. Yes, it may begin with a decision we make, and often there will be a desire to move on. But that is just the very start of the journey. The road is long and winding, and it’s unpredictable.
2. You can trust the process. You mind knows how to heal and protect itself. Allow it to guide you – though it won’t always make sense. It knows what it is doing; you can trust your intuition.
3. You might feel really bad, and you may struggle to let go. There…
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Even though we did just experience a very unusual Christmas holiday due to COVID-19, I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday and remain safe! I have found Christmas different for a while now because growing up in the north, I always had a white Christmas. I have lived in the south for over 20 years now and since then, I have only had one white Christmas. You would think I would have adjusted to this change given it has been SO many years, but it still does not feel like Christmas without the snow covering the ground. In a sense, it is a good thing we do not get snow in the south often because there is not the necessary equipment to handle the snow, which makes basically everything shut down.
This Christmas was abnormal for people for various reasons, but mainly because of the safety issues due…
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Christmas morning started out fairly peacefully. Little AoA got up early, and was ready to check out the morning magic! It wasn’t long until all of our phones started alerting us with Nashville news. It started as what is not unusual…shots fired. As the day progressed, it became, a bomb in an RV in downtown […]A Christmas Explosion — Army of Angels: Part 2
While the holidays bring images of happy homes and loving families, please remember that the pictures don’t tell the whole story. Be gentle and merciful toward others. Time has been a great healer of the AoA past. Eight years ago, Christmas Eve, the dad walked out of our house after pacing the floor, saying the […]A Different Christmas Eve — Army of Angels: Part 2
It’s Friday! So glad you stopped by today. I hope you have a great weekend and stay safe. In health, MelindaFriday Quote —
I’m sending warm wishes to you and your family for Christmas today. This year will look a little different than previous years but the reason for the season hasn’t changed. Next year we will be able to gather as in years past and can talk about new traditions started during the 2020 season. I […] Merry […]Merry Christmas — —
I hope you enjoy some of my favorite old and new Christmas songs. This year may look different than in years past but the music remains the same and so does the reason for the season. In health, MelindaA Week Of Christmas Music Day Seven —
We have made it halfway through the week!
Happy Wednesday y’all! We are more than halfway through this short week, but it almost feels longer. I don’t know if it is just me, but I always think the short weeks feel like a couple weeks combined into one. I guess it is because in the mortgage world we are trying to get everything purchased in fewer days. Even though the past few days have been busy, I am happy that I will be out of work at 2:00 on Thursday and off on Friday!
The holidays this year are mildly stressful, actually they are extremely stressful. I guess my reason for being a little more nervous than others is because my immune system is not good at all. I worry that if I were to stop being terrified and I get COVID-19, my survival is not good. I know what…
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It’s Wednesday! I’m so happy you’re here! This photo was taken years ago during a Toys For Tots Christmas Run. Every year thousands of people get together on their motorcycles and take toys to a designated location for the Marines Toys for Tots Christmas campaign. Yes, I’m drinking a beer at 9:00 in the morning […]#Wordless Wednesday *Me & Santa —
December 22nd…..almost Christmas! We have had a lot of fun this season, even amidst a pandemic. Little AoA sent out about a dozen gift packs to her pen-pals. In the weeks that followed, packages started coming regularly for her. She has had so much fun with her pen-pals! Little AoA never really had friends in […]Almost There — Army of Angels: Part 2
I hope you enjoy some of my favorite old and new Christmas songs. This year may look different than in years past but the music remains the same and so does the reason for the season. Two of my favorite artists singing a soon to be classic. In health, MelindaA Week Of Christmas Music Day Six —
I hope you enjoy some of my favorite old and new Christmas songs. This year may look different than in years past but the music remains the same and so does the reason for the season. One of the best Group Christmas songs! In health, MelindaA Week Of Christmas Music Day Five —