12 Common Symptoms of CPTSD From Childhood

This short video is really good.

• 1. Do you struggle with attention, memory, or focus?
• 2. Do you space out or feel numb when faced with decisions or try to talk about your feelings?
• 3. Do you have trouble regulating intense emotions? (Ex: outbursts of anger or intense sadness when it doesn’t seem appropriate.)
• 4. Do you have conflicts with family, friends, coworkers or partner?
• 5. Do you avoid social engagements because being around people is just too triggering?
• 6. Does the fear of abandonment or being alone cause you to stay in negative relationships? (Not necessarily romantic ones.)
• 7. Do you find yourself attracted to unavailable, abusive, or destructive people?
• 8. Have you suffered with depression, anxiety or other mental health issues?
• 9. Do you smoke, use food, drugs or alcohol in an addictive way? (Self-medicating)
• 10. Are you overweight or struggle with over-eating?
• 11. Do you have unexplained health problems with no clear cause?
• 12. Do you feel that you are unexplainably separate from others?

Introducing Lin Health, A New Way Forward In Pain Management —

I’m excited to introduce you to Lin Health. They are a Pain Management platform like no other. This is not your average app, Lin Health offers you one-on-one support with a trained Health Coach who you talk with on a regular basis. She is intimately familiar with your health and medical background thru their support […]

Introducing Lin Health, A New Way Forward In Pain Management —

D’Amore Mental Health —

Jane from D’Amore Mental Health contacted me and asked if I would include their organization on my resources page. With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I can’t think of a better time to add a new Mental Health resource. Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com Child Abuse and Childhood trauma can impact a person […]

D’Amore Mental Health —

How Childhood Sexual Abuse Causes Physical And Mental Health Problems In Adults —

Carrying trauma from your childhood is so draining and it has far-reaching effects on your physical and mental health. Many people experience flashbacks and PTSD symptoms after surviving sexual abuse as a child, but often, the impact is less direct. Even those that do not think about the abuse itself that much and assume that […]

How Childhood Sexual Abuse Causes Physical And Mental Health Problems In Adults —

12 signs of Complex – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

A long period of time.

First 16 years of life.

1. Hypervigilance (felling that nothing is safe)
2. We can never relax.
3. We cannot really sleep properly. (plagued with nightmares and night terrors)
4. We hate ourselves.
5. We are drawn to highly unavailable people.
6. We are sickened by people who want to be cozy with us.  (I can’t sleep with another person).
7. We are prone to lose our temper very badly.
8. We are paranoid and worried things are going to go bad again.
9. We like being alone.
10. We find living so exhausting and so unpleasant, we do sometimes long that we don’t exist anymore.
11. We are rigid about our routines. OCD.
12. We throw ourselves into work.

The root cause of complex PTSD is an absence of love.

And the cure for it is the same path. We need to love someone we hate…

Ourselves.

June 27th: National PTSD Awareness Day — Art by Rob Goldstein

Originally posted on Addicted To Living: (Image source: http://covingtonweekly.com/2017/06/29/disposable-heroes-ptsd-awareness-day/ ) More often than not, people tend to associate the acronym, PTSD, with veterans returning from war. This is because throughout the years of World War I and after World War II, many veterans faced severe PTSD, or “shell shock.” However, this is only one possible…

June 27th: National PTSD Awareness Day — Art by Rob Goldstein

Can We Edit Memories

I thought this was a great talk and she has some great ideas. Maybe you can put some to use.

Melinda

ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Amy Milton · Behavioral neuroscientistAmy Milton researches to understand how memories are updated in the brain.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — Human Performance Psychology

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a trauma and stress-related disorder that may develop after exposure to an event or ordeal in which death or severe physical harm occurred or was threatened. People who suffer from the disorder include military troops, rescue workers, and survivors of shootings, bombings, violence, and rape. Family members of victims can develop the disorder […]

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — Human Performance Psychology

C-PTSD

A Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:
1 Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).
2 Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.
3 Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.
4 Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).
B Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred:
1. Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s).
2. Recurrent distressing dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the traumatic event(s).
3. Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic event(s) were recurring.
4. Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).
5. Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).
C Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following:
1 Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).
2 Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).
D Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:
1 Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs).
2 Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” “The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”).
3 Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others.
4 Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame).
5 Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities.
6 Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others.
7 Persistent inability to experience positive emotions (e.g., inability to experience happiness, satisfaction, or loving feelings).
E Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:
1 Irritable behavior and angry outbursts (with little or no provocation) typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects.
2 Reckless or self-destructive behavior.
3 Hypervigilance.
4 Exaggerated startle response.
5 Problems with concentration.
6 Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep).
F Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) is more than 1 month.
G The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
H The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., medication, alcohol) or another medical condition.

little goat

i was scared of you from the word ‘go’
you didn’t see me, but you used me as your special little goat
i hid in a makeshift house that followed me from room to room
i was spider-man
swinging from veranda to clothesline

you took away my innocents
you used me for your pleasure
without my consent
you said: “you must not tell anyone”.

from age to teens
you chose me to hate
i hide among the weeds
skipping school, to stare up at the blue sky
the mice were my only friends

when i escaped, i was in a state of pure ecstasy
free from violence, free from hatred
i danced all night
i slept by day, under the palm tree
i was free…

then my demons returned to roost among the pigeons
you tracked me down
to use me again for your own pain
i never went back to live
my neck was frozen
i could not move

i lived a dream of body narcissism
day by day
i stole what i thought was mine

you came along
like a God
you took me in your arms
at last i was loved
and so was my body

when you left i died
then i woke with fierce determination
to learn about the world
to find peace
to find the now
to find God
to find new friends
to find film and history

through crazy eyes
you stalked me to end of the earth
i was shattered
tried hard to stay afloat
dying inside

her i am
standing in front of you
my image machine
finding joy once more
the lens is my new friend
i found art once more
the tree had grown tall…
leading my life back to the soil

sedge808

C.P.T. for PTSD

C.P.T. stands for cognitive processing therapy, and is used for people with PTSD.
CPT is a specific type of cognitive behavioral therapy that helps patients learn how to modify and challenge unhelpful beliefs related to trauma.

I’ve started a 12 week PTSD support group, in conjunction with seeing a PTSD psychologist. Has been very helpful, and I’m already getting the benefits from the group as well as the therapy. This is the first time I’ve had specific help with my PTSD issues, so I am very grateful.

For a very long time I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I always had fear in the workplace. Difficulty with anger in intimate relationships. Nightmares and night terrors. Very poor sense of self worth etc. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking in 2003, that I got a correct diagnosis for my condition.
The diagnosis was a blessing (not a curse), because I now new what the problem was and could respond and get help that I needed. I stopped work in 2009 due to strong PTSD symptoms that had been plaguing me all of my life.
I always hoped things would get better as I got older, but the opposite has happened. My symptoms have gotten worse over time.

sedge808.

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/cognitive-processing-therapy.aspx

Complex PTSD

…..?????

What is that….  ????

I often say: “someone who has been in more than one plane crash, and survived”.

It’s rather interesting that my disability is not only misunderstood, but not understood.

I’m problem is not my mental illness, but the lack of understanding of my illness, from my friends and fellow mental illness sufferers.

This is the primary problem….even my psychologist wasn’t able to grasp my issues….and wanted me to work on something completely unrelated to my current issues.

This is highly frustrating and disappointing.

So….how do I get other people to understand my disability ????

I’m not even sure how to start…!

It’s just not working, and I’m feeling VERY frustrated.

My experience of victimhood is very real, and this is one of the major issues I face as a person with complex PTSD.

I just don’t really know what to do. What not to do, or any kind of ‘knowing’.

sedge808.
Complex PTSD

C-PTSD

I’m really struggling with the lack of understanding other people have about CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

A good friend hit me yesterday….his way of coping with my bad behaviour.

This has happened multiple times in the past, and I’ve been very explicit about telling him NO HITTING !!!!!! 

I spent the first 16 years of my life being hit by my family, and I don’t cope with it at all!

so now I’ve had to put in some major boundaries in place with this friend, and I’m not even sure we can continue to be friends….which would be so sad.

I’m very much responsible for my behaviour, and I recognise that, but I do struggle with other people’s lack of understanding.

Complex PTSD

 

Turmoil and confusion

Yesterday morning my sister received her results and they positive for cancer in the breast, she petrified and we were both filled with sadness as we spoke the possibilities through. ..today she sees oncology and Friday they operate. ..
It’s hard to hear that a loved one is battling it tore me apart, as we spoke of my mom’s journey with breast cancer to and last night she had her 3rd operation on her femur and hip replacement too our brothers tell us mom’s one eye is swollen shut ?not sure yet why …
Last night I kept busy I slept little and then communicated back and forth to south Africa with my brother’s around mom’s progress my mental illness feels agrivates by this change at present my sister isn’t telling any family other than me maybe next week she says I worry but hear to her concerns mom’s not well and dad’s away. ..

The feeling she been through enough in life why more I do not know but god sure had lots thrown at him last night from me:'(

Dreams of a better days

We arrived home late afternoon yesterday and the drive wasn’t quite as bad Hooray for that!Well driving we reflected on our weekend e cried listened to music ,it was hard all in all watching my sister in laws husband battle cancer its slowly popping up in all places and breathing is compressed by his tumor in the lungs that one can hear him breath miles away with much difficulty ..well we were there my in laws phoned they booked there tickets they arrive 20 July with there sister who we haven’t seen in more than 10 years ..excited to see the three monkey to they all under ten and one aged 3 .

So we booked our tickets well at his sister to fly well his parents are here to new Plymouth this is massive for me,but we all excited .This week is huge my mom went in for a third op related to her broken femur and hip replacement last night in south Africa  its hard to try encourage when she battles to .And today my sister will find out whether she has cancer in the lymph nobs as well ,one weeks ago they removed a tumor in the breast and then sent away for extensive testing today she finds out the results .Hubby i must say is very understanding of the emotions right now.

I took my usual meds the whole weekend to satisfy hubby but last night left them and this morning well hubby was searching for his medicine he came across my stock pile and woke me at 5 am with holly crap theirs about three months here for you how fucking long have you not taken Groan its only 4 weeks not thee months relax …i cant do this im only trying to please others and that hard enough ..I NEED TO KEEP REMINDING ME ITS ABOUT ME AND ME ONLY.

This mornings side effects of starting and stopping meds  is one hell of a headache its throbbing,but too a feeling of been isolated from the world i look out side and dream to walk patches by our sea side but the gripping fear some how arises and home i wish to stay rather were its safe ,quite ,and no one can touch me.

You see, it’s like the ending of ‘Psycho’

I’m the Person You don’t know who is Not the Pathological Narcissist Mentioned in Rob Goldstein’s Blog Post that You Haven’t Read

Smokes

When the Narcissist is Invisible

A Skeleton in the Attic – Part Two

A Skeleton in the Attic

A Dream About Robert

I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 1 [Poem]

How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?

This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series.

History becomes Her story-

She’s a beautiful soul, trapped deep in her keep,

In a place she won’t let most inside.

So I’ve entered slowly and cautiously here,

Not breaking the trust she confides.

Her levels and layers, her pain and her hurt

Run as deep as the red in her blood.

And I sit and I listen, to all that she says,

Which comes from her core that is good.

She tells me of rape, of the breaking of bones,

And a tear glistens down over my cheek.

For I’ve known the warrior, the battle hardened victor,

Not imagining her soft soul so meak.

Sometimes she gets up, in the middle of the night

She says that it’s just too hard.

She’ll leave then apologize because she’s flashed back

I’m not angry, I’m honored ’cause she let down a wall.

We tell each other, “You get me.” “You understand who I am”,

And we hold each other tight.

And I’ll hold her and treasure her, ’til peace arrives,

And helps her sleep through the night.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Do you have suggestions for supporting people with PTSD? Will you share them with us?

The Narcissist on the Seventh Floor: Part Two

After the Lovin’- Five things a Narcissist will do after a Breakup

…And Yet…

A Letter from Home: Dear Bobby

 

A Letter from Home: Dear Bobby

Dear Bobby,

From what I know about your Mother I can understand how you might stumble into relationships that feel deceptive and controlling.

That you have survived to be as loving as you are attests to your strength of will and natural gift for seeing through fakes.

You will have to fight for the stability that many people mistakenly assume is the result of thinking the “right thoughts.”

The compulsion to replicate an abusive relationship is a challenge that adults who were abused as children must understand and overcome.

You want to make it right with your Mother, but she is gone; so you look for her in other people.

The shadows you describe are a good sign, because it means that you can see the replication before it is complete.

Your ability to see that you are in danger means that you are better able to protect yourself.

People yield to each other when they truly accept and love each other.

They yield by mutual consent.

What you are used to is love as warfare and you as hostage.

You look for emotional vampires that call you a hater when you discover that they are dead inside.

You invite them into your life and let them feed on you.

You will always have to guard against the attraction to people who can’t love.

But no one has the right to judge your perception of the difference between right and wrong.

It is true that we must not judge people harshly for being who they are but there are right and wrong actions and not judging people who choose to harm other people places all of us at risk.

You are no better than anyone else is and no one else is better than you are.

This awareness is part of the magic you describe.

When we live in a world in which each of us is respected  as an essential expression of the divine we no longer need to treat each other as enemies and pawns.

Your innate awareness of this fills you with the love that you struggle to express.

This spirit of love makes you seem hateful to the soulless.

But it’s not just you Bobby.

You survived a Mother who in her love for you wanted you dead.

You survived her physically and emotionally, all you need to do now is tell your story because that is how survivors help others to survive.

You must learn to understand how your past affects the present in the past, and the present in the future.

You will have to remember the selfish ignorance that raped your body, it is horrifying, but all of us must do it.

This selfish ignorance tells you that compassion is a failure to mature.

Mistaking parasitic self-interest for maturity is a convenient lie.

With all of our problems and pain, we are lucky because you are our soul and you are intact.

Adults bring the fruit of wisdom into the world.

That is our job and why we must get well.

Know that I love you and that I am here to protect you until you can protect yourself,

Sara

To “I Am Not a Victim”

My Christmas Miracle

When it Comes to Filling Out Forms

Blogging While Dissociated

Ten Tips for Mental Health Bloggers

Kaiser’s Department of “We Don’t Do That!”

I am the Government and I am You.

Having Breast Cancer 4 Times

4 Times and Counting

Some people skip my posts as they don’t want to know that breast cancer can strike more than once. They believe that my story must be a real downer as who wouldn’t be depressed to have their cancer come back again and again and again? Others look to find differences in their stories from mine to reassure themselves that this will not have to them. I don’t know how many people have asked me if this whole mess couldn’t have been avoided if I just had a double mastectomy with my first breast cancer at 29? Hindsight is usually 20/20 but even my oncologists aren’t convinced that would have stopped the cancer from coming back. I had new primaries, not recurrences, and it is very possible they still would have grown in my mastectomy scars. I would like to assure you my story is not all doom and gloom and…

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Finding My New Normal After Losing My Old Normal

4 Times and Counting

I

I was first diagnosed with breast cancer at 29. February,2015 will be 27 years from the time of my first diagnosis. I have spent almost half my life battling breast cancer.

“Finding your new normal” is one of those popular buzz phrases spoken by oncologists, counsellors, and other cancer survivors. I’ve always felt that this word was like a password to a secret clubhouse that everyone in Cancerland belongs to except for me. Although I know this password, I am obviously missing something that would allow me to gain entry. Maybe a special knock or a secret handshake is also required. While I can spout the phrase “new normal” without difficulty, I’ve never quite understood how those words applied to my life.

If we uttered the phrase “changes to your life” due to cancer, I could easily relate to that. I could draw up a long list of the…

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Parenting With Breast Cancer

This was first published at 4 Times And Counting.

4 Times and Counting

When you are a parent, you want to protect your children from all the bad things in life as you love them so fiercely. You feel like this lioness with her cub, trying to shelter them from all impending harm. But when you are diagnosed with cancer, you are the one that sends your children’s world into a chaotic tailspin. Between the shock of diagnosis, the demands of treatment, and the uncertainty of what the future holds for you and your family, your children can’t help but be threatened by this disease that has invaded their lives.

Although I have had breast cancer 4 times, I only had children during the last bout in 2011. At that time, they were 9 and 11, old enough to understand what was going on but young enough that they still needed a parent who could be there for them 24/7. As a single…

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STICKS and STONES by Topaz Winters

One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered. ― Michael J. Fox

“I sometimes pretend I’m a Phoenix” – Topaz Winters, from Sticks and Stones

 

It’s my pleasure to bring you another poem submitted by Topaz Winters. Her poem takes us inside the maelstrom of a wounded spirit stuck between feeling the reality of unrelenting anguish from abuse, trauma, abandonment, and the dream of love and life as first imagined. The journey to healing is never swift or without setbacks captured in the line, “I sometimes pretend I’m a phoenix.” Topaz’s advocacy for survivors and awareness is greatly appreciated.  Topaz offered her poem as a tribute to the readers and authors that know abuse and trauma all too well. Thank you for your continued support, Topaz.  And now, dear reader, I submit to you, Sticks and Stones by Topaz Winters.

Making Themes Not Resolutions For 2015

Reblogged from 4 Times And Counting

4 Times and Counting

                                                                    

Having made and promptly broken every resolution made for New Years in the  past, I’m trying something different this year. I have decided to pick 2 keywords as my themes for the year which will hopefully guide my actions in the 12 months ahead.

The words I have chosen for 2015 are “create” and “giving”.  I want to build up and not tear down. I would like to make something new, whether it is a new blog post, an article written out of my comfort zone, an e-book, or building a sense of community in my online and virtual worlds. I want to share my experiences more transparently and honestly in the hopes that even one reader will say to herself, “hey, I’m not alone feeling this way”. As I wrote in an earlier post, The Winning Ticket, I want to give back to my community, not keep…

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Breast Cancer: It Is Going To Be A Bumpy Ride

My newest blog post is on the psychological effects of a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. Much of the content would apply to any other significant trauma as it covers anxiety, depression, and PTSD.

4 Times and Counting

A breast cancer diagnosis is a life altering event, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Surprisingly, little attention has been devoted to conducting scientific studies that measure anxiety, depression, and PTSD rates in first time breast cancer patients. Even less scientific attention has been paid to these psychological effects in patients who have experienced a recurrence or a metastasis of their cancer. The statistics available are all over the map but it can safely be said that almost all breast cancer patients will suffer from depression and high anxiety levels sometime on their journey from diagnosis to post-treatment.  

These feelings may be short-term for many, disappearing within a few months after treatment ends. A significant percentage of first time breast cancer survivors (US studies say 25% while European and Australian studies say at least 50%) will go on to develop long term post-traumatic stress disorder. There is very little statistical evidence pinpointing…

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The End of War

This is a repost of a chapter from one of my short stories.  It wasn’t very popular as far as likes, comments or views. It seems counter intuitive to beat that old dead horse again here.  I replay it because much is said about post traumatic stress disorder in service members but it’s not well understood by the public.  It can manifest years after the event as the memories suddenly drift in like a cold breeze through a forgotten open door.  Internal dialog of scenes long forgotten play out when and wherever they will – triggered by a thought, sound, a vision, a taste or smell.

Ways to help

6 ways to help someone dealing with PTSD  (from my prospective anyway)

• Listen, sit silent and listen.
• Encourage, them to seek counseling.
• Don’t assume what works for you will work for them.
• Don’t give advise, unless it is asked for.
• Help them Celebrate, their victories, no matter how small.
• Most importantly, be Patient and LISTEN, sit silent and just listen.

What things have helped you or helped you to help others?

Check out the sites below for information.

Brainline.org

HelpGuide.org

CasaPalmera.com

Dreams or illusions

a beautiful

distraction

these

soft images

as unreal

as the thoughts

that fuel them

illusions

a mind creates

as a means

to survive

while reality

hangs loosely

in the background

like an

annoying hum

**

How much easier it would be to live in a dream of your own creation.

Wait, maybe we already do? 😉

Starr©