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An Open letter to Senator Dianne Feinstein regarding Kaiser

Art by Rob Goldstein

Blog for Mental Health 2015

The letter below is based on the letter sent by Andy Weisskoff to Senator Dianne Feinstein and posted to his blog, 90 Days to Change.

If you live California I invite you to use this letter as a template for one of your own.

Senator Feinstein’s contact page is linked from her name.

If you are a Kaiser member who doesn’t live in California I urge you to send an email to your representative with a request that Kaiser meet its obligations to its psychiatric patients. Below is my letter.

Dear Senator Feinstein:

On behalf of myself and federal taxpayers and Medicare and Medicaid recipients who are denied adequate mental health care by Kaiser and thus the opportunity to heal and return to productive lives, I ask the following:

(1) I ask that the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) conduct an audit of mental health services…

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Dreams. What a beautiful word. But what a horrible feeling they can give.
I dreamt about my ex last night. And have been over the last couple of months. Dreams were things are like paradise, or where we are fighting like mad! Its never in between. Its never normal. I never wake up with a good feeling. I always wake up with anxiety and stress. From the inside all out, sometimes it even feels like a layer on my skin.

Today was one of these mornings. I just wanted to dig a deep hole through my floor and hide deep down. Deep deep deep down.

Its been three years since I last saw him. Since we last spoke. As far as I know we have both gone through our own dark paths. I have no idea where he is today. And most of the time I really dont want to…

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Sunday. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I stopped counting the days. I’m still stressed because for me New Year is also a family thing. I know than in many parts of the world it’s different, but for me and my family, it’s like another Christmas. The only difference maybe is that the noise of fireworks lasts longer and that the firemen take a ride at 12 o’clock with all the kids of the neighborhood with the sirens on. At least, that happens where I come from. I have no idea how it’s New Year in Germany and I won’t know it until maybe next year. This year has been too much for me and I’m still lost.
I refused to be alone and I double refused to spend the last day of the year with the man’s family. That’s why I’m doing what I do best, ESCAPE. I’m…

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Saturday. It’s snowing. I’m not happy about it.
What a day yesterday! It didn’t feel like a Friday, probably that’s why I forgot my song.
Now I need some therapeutic writing or I’ll get crazy.
The man called yesterday at 4.00pm to say he was leaving with his girlfriend for the next days. Ok. Then he said: “My parents rented a holiday’s house from the 30th on near here. We could leave the kids there and I could drive you the 31st very early to the airport alone. That way, they can sleep longer”.
“What? We already arrange that, why are you changing the plans last minute?”
“I’m not changing the plans, I’m just telling you, think about it”
“I thought about it already and it’s ALWAYS the same. Your parents make me change my plans. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS STILL HAPPENING”.
“I can’t discuss this now, my girlfriend…

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Brother’s Gift-I Had a Feeling…

Yes, I played, "guess what the dad will get the kids". He promised a trampoline...said that everything Little AoA wanted was too expensive...and he does not own one stitch of school clothes for Little AoA. Still, I predicted a gun...because... Continue Reading →

Two Year Anniversary

This is a memory that no one deserves to have. It is mine. I hope that by sharing my story, others may realize that no one deserves to be abused in any way, by their partner. There is life on... Continue Reading →

Happy Kwanzaa…Heri za Kwanzaa

Christmas time


We had a quiet but very nice Christmas Eve. Here in Norway we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. We open presents and eat a lovely Christmas dinner with lots and lots of food.

My girls had a great time with my grandparents, and I had a lovely time with my sick little boy. It was extra nice to go and get the girls in the evening, and we enjoyed opening the presents together.

Everyone got super happy about their gifts. And it was an relief after they have had several fits about their advent calendar during the days before Christmas. This year all three got one item they had asked for all fall, and Legos. Before Christmas they got practical stuff like skies and clothes, mostly second hand, so they didn’t need much practical stuff this year. But usually Im all for the practical stuff and not the toys.


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Friday. Not feeling really better.
Yesterday, I went downstairs to see if Santa had brought me what I asked for. No, he didn’t. I didn’t find a boyfriend under the tree, or near the tree, or behind the tree or anywhere else.
I already had in my mind a nice guy all wrapped up and with a golden ribbon on top.
Next time, if I didn’t get one before next Christmas, I’ll write the letter in German. For now, I’ll try to believe I didn’t get my boyfriend because of the barrier language.

My kids were all happy with their presents. I was happy too, I got one thing that I wanted, not as much as the boyfriend, but ok, I’ll enjoy the set of candle holders that I bought for myself and carefully wrapped and put my name on it. Once I forgot to buy something for me and…

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