Watch Out for Snakes

Art by Rob Goldstein

Art by Rob Goldstein Watch Out For Snakes

Art by Rob Goldstein Comment 12-21-2015

From July to December of last year a narcissist was comment bombing me.

That was when I completed the abstract, Watch Out For Snakes.

I got as many as twelve long diatribes a week and made
screenshots before deleting them unread.

I went through my screenshots tonight and re-read that comment.

It’s pure word salad.

When I first met the narcissist I was drawn to what I wanted to
think was a child like imagination.

On some level I must have known that what I’d met was another
self-centered two-year old that as an adult turns vicious.

I laugh as I read the comment now and yet I have mixed feelings.

The primary symptom of narcissism is the delusional idea that
everyone else must agree that he is obviously superior.

Eventually everyone finds something about the narcissist
to question.

It’s when you…

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When the Narcissist is Invisible

Art by Rob Goldstein

Abstract Digital Painting                                        We

In this post I use ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ because my subjective experience is that of multiple separate people.

The children of pathological narcissists must blind themselves to behaviors that healthy people consider unspeakable.

Food deprivation, the theft of money, a lack of boundaries, triangulated relationships in which the child must either see the other parent as an enemy or hate the other parent outright, contempt for the achievements of others, the competitive behavior of a child, and the threat of psychological annihilation.

For the narcissist the worst crime is independent thought.

The child has no needs of his own.

He must have no dreams, and no vision of life without the clinging demands of a parent or parent surrogate who is essentially a two-year old with no insight.

The psychological death-blow is that the child must never surpass the parent.

My Mother despised my intelligence and…

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After the Lovin’- Five things a Narcissist will do after a Breakup

Art by Rob Goldstein

Portrait of My MotherPortrait of My Mother

There is self-esteem and grandiose narcissism..

There is the sense that you can accomplish your goals and grandiose narcissism.

My Mother was brutally narcissistic.

In her mind, I was an object, a toy used to control and dominate my father; a thing she used to secure and please new boyfriends.

A thing.

My Mother’s control over my intellectual and emotional life was so complete that when she cried I cried.

Even when I didn’t know why she was crying.

Today’s therapy session focused on the fact that I still “discover” that someone I cared about and admired is a pathological narcissist.

I repeatedly “discover”  that the breach of boundaries, the use of my resources without consideration, the inflated claims of competence and the derision for anyone who dared to contradict these claims are signs that I’m in another cycle of repetition.

I meet my Mother…

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