A long period of time.
First 16 years of life.
- Hypervigilance (felling that nothing is safe)
- We can never relax.
- We cannot really sleep properly. (plagued with nightmares and night terrors)
- We hate ourselves.
- We are drawn to highly unavailable people.
- We are sickened by people who want to be cozy with us. (I can’t sleep with another person).
- We are prone to lose our temper very badly.
- We are paranoid and worried things are going to go bad again.
- We like being alone.
- We find living so exhausting and so unpleasant, we do sometimes long that we don’t exist anymore.
- We are rigid about our routines. OCD.
- We throw ourselves into work.
The root cause of complex PTSD is an absence of love.
And the cure for it is the same path. We need to love someone we hate…
I have finally gotten a copy of ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, as an ‘audio book’, and finished reading it today. I will be reading it again and again, as it’s so good.
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.”
― Viktor Frankl
“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
He says: Instead of constantly trying to avoid suffering, one is to embrace it. This takes away it’s power over us.
He says this about all our neurotic behaviour. Go towards it, and it will dissipate.
This make a lot of sense. I need to be brave, to do this.
His story and his book, are a huge inspiration for me.
the big one is: there is no such thing as objective reality.
i.e. I was abused as a child, even though i had done nothing wrong. So if there is meaning, the only meaning can or could be is: I am a bad person. (I spent my entire childhood (and beyond) believing this).
In reality, the abuse has no meaning.
These days i spend a lot of time reading all the existential philosophers. These are really helpful because they help me re-contextualize my existence. Yes. I call myself an existential nihilist.
…and pretty much all of the sages I follow, say similar stuff.
Eckhart Tolle: there is no good or bad. There is only ‘what is’.
A Course in Miracles: Lesson 1. Nothing I See Means Anything.
David Hawkins: The other person merely mirrors back what we are projecting onto them.
Friedrich Nietzsche: The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.
i.e. I live next door to a ‘neighbor from hell’. His aggressive behavior ultimately has no meaning. If i did have meaning, it would mean that i am a victim. (I’m definitely not a victim).
Now. don’t freak out…we all need purpose and meaning in our lives…and the fact that we cannot not make meaning is truth of this.
Do I want to make meaning from abuse? Do i want to make meaning from my aggressive neighbor? NO.
Philosophy is a way out of old ideas we may have of ourselves, and helps us to re-think things trough.
Nothing exists; even if something exists, nothing can be known about it; and even if something can be known about it, knowledge about it can’t be communicated to others.
A Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:
1 Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).
2 Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.
3 Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.
4 Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).
B Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred:
1. Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s).
2. Recurrent distressing dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the traumatic event(s).
3. Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic event(s) were recurring.
4. Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).
5. Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).
C Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following:
1 Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).
2 Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).
D Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:
1 Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs).
2 Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” “The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”).
3 Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others.
4 Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame).
5 Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities.
6 Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others.
7 Persistent inability to experience positive emotions (e.g., inability to experience happiness, satisfaction, or loving feelings).
E Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:
1 Irritable behavior and angry outbursts (with little or no provocation) typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects.
2 Reckless or self-destructive behavior.
4 Exaggerated startle response.
5 Problems with concentration.
6 Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep).
F Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) is more than 1 month.
G The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
H The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., medication, alcohol) or another medical condition.
I’ve been a fan of Ryuichi Sakamoto since the 80’s. he worked with another artist whom i really like too. David Sylvian.
I discovered Alva Noto (German composer)more recently and fell in love with his music. ended up buying all his albums and EP’s.
his sound is very unique…he doesn’t use instruments, he uses sounds.
…but when the collaboration with Sakamoto happened there was a perfect match of electronic noise and bleeps combined with the organic piano music of Sakamoto. this combination really works well.
“Spirit of the Stairwell.” This story was inspired by a beautiful image captured by the author of this blog: Noir, the Darker Side to Sedge808. Thanks, for all the beauty you give, G. You always say it better. With pictures! ❥ ~JM~ Gavin headed up the imperious, winding stairwell for the last time today. For […]
When a Picture Says More Than Just a Thousand Words…
Japan kitttehs go for a walk.
Every Day Moments Of The Urban Deer In The Streets Of Nara, Japan.
If not now… when ?
– Eckhart Tolle
This is one of many Eckhart quotes i love…and is very appropriate for my current situation.
I have metabolic syndrome, and my doctor said i need to loose, (at minimum) 20 kilograms.
A while back i tried eating only salads for six months and didn’t loose any weight at all. This was very frustrating, so I gave up once again.
This time i’m more motivated for some reason…so i’m committed to loosing the weight.
Currently I’m three days fasting, and then, three days of food.
Once i start loosing weight I can change to two days fasting and five days food.
The key is NOT to overeat during the ‘food’ days. This is the most important thing.
Today is day nine, and i’m already feeling better (not bloated).
I’ve been studying up on the ‘Just-world’ theory, and found this article. Very interesting…
The just-world phenomenon is the tendency to believe that the world is just and that people get what they deserve. Because people want to believe that the world is fair, they will look for ways to explain or rationalize away injustice, often blaming the person in a situation who is actually the victim.
The just-world phenomenon helps explain why people sometimes blame victims for their own misfortune, even in situations where people had no control over the events that have befallen them.
Just-World Theory and Victim-Blaming
The just-world theory posits that when people do fall victim to misfortune, others tend to look for things that might explain their circumstances. In other words, people have an automatic tendency to look for something or someone to blame for unfortunate events. But rather than simply attributing a bad turn of events to bad luck, people tend to look at the individual’s behavior as a source of blame.
Conversely, this belief also leads people to think that when good things happen to people it is because those individuals are good and deserving of their happy fortune. Because of this, people who are extremely fortunate are often seen as more deserving of their good luck. Rather than attributing their success to luck or circumstance, people tend to ascribe their fortune to intrinsic characteristics of the individual. These people are often seen as being more intelligent and hard-working than less fortunate people.
The classic example of this tendency is found in the book of Job in the Bible. In the text, Job suffers a series of terrible calamities and at one point his former friend suggests that Job must have done something terrible to have deserved his misfortunes.
More modern examples of the just-world phenomenon can be seen in many places. Victims of sexual assault are often blamed for their attack, as others suggest that it was the victims own behavior that caused the assault.
Explanations for the Just-World Phenomenon
So why does the just-world phenomenon happen? There are a few different explanations that have been proposed to explain it:
- The fear of facing vulnerability. People do not like to think about themselves being the victims of a violent crime. So when they hear about an event such as an assault or a rape, they may try to assign blame for the event on the victim’s behavior. This allows people to believe they can avoid being victims of crime just by avoiding past victims’ behaviors.
- A desire to minimize anxiety. Another possible explanation for the just-world phenomenon is that people want to reduce the anxiety that is caused by the world’s injustices. Believing that the individual is completely responsible for their misfortune, people are able to go on believing that the world is fair and just.
Pros and Cons
The just-world phenomenon does have some benefits. Like other types of cognitive bias, this phenomenon protects self-esteem, helps control fear, and allows people to remain optimistic about the world.
Obviously, this tendency also has some major downsides. By blaming victims, people fail to see how the situation and other variables contributed to another person’s misfortunes. Instead of expressing empathy, the just-world phenomenon sometimes causes people to be disinterested or even scorn troubled individuals.
A Word From Verywell
The just world phenomenon might explain why people sometimes fail to help or feel compassion for the homeless, for addicts, or for victims of violence. By blaming them for their own misfortunes, people protect their view of the world as a safe and fair place, but at a significant cost to those in need.
This cognitive bias can be difficult to overcome, but being aware of it can help. When making attributions, focus on looking at all elements of the situation. This includes accounting for a person’s behavior as well as things such as environmental factors, societal pressures, and cultural expectations.
Are You Ready For Some Goat Parkour ?
When You Wake Up In The Morning And See a Herd Of Goats Running Wild Through Your Neighborhood.
When You Overhear Your Plumber Making Friends With Your Cat.
Looking for Garfield.